Should a 10 year old girl wax her lip and tweeze her eyebrows?…what next her bikini line?

TLT214 (COM CLASS) writes powder puff women are “women whose main goal in life is to be as sexually appealing as humanly possible?”

This got me thinking about a few things that have been bothering me.

I am trying to raise my children with my values (traditional), to be kind to others and not be judgemental, to follow your heart and the 10 Commandments, especially the one about honoring your mother – oh yeah and father!.  It is EXTREMELY HARD IN THIS DAY IN AGE.

For example:   My daughter has a “friend” who is in her class (my daughter is 11, she is not quite there yet).  “Sam” is already shaving her legs, waxing her lip and tweezing/waxing her eyebrows.  AT 10!
My daughter has very dark hair on her legs so I just let her use the cream to remove them – because it can be embarrassing and she will be in shorts and swimsuits soon.  But to wax the hair on your face already?  I don’t know.  That seems so superficial – but am I being a hypocrite?  I’d like to know what others think about this.  What is this world coming to when a 10 year old or her parent for that matter feels it is important to groom herself in this way. 

In my opinion, she should just be understanding the rules of good hygiene: wash everyday, use deodorant, comb and style your hair, make sure you brush your teeth, use floss and mouthwash regularly, etc.  Adding to the pressure of a 5th grader to make sure her eyebrows are shaped perfectly is stressful?

So please, I am seriously interested in what others think.  Is this type of behavior over the top or mainstream?  Are 10 years old expected to look “picture perfect”?  Am I being ridiculous or hypocritical if I let my daughter “shave” her legs but condemn those that go beyond?  I am confused.  I really am – because when I look around and see our young girls trying to act older and older and appearing older it frightens me – can’t we just let them be children?

Your thoughts – please.

It’s all coming to an end…

The semester is nearing an end. 

I have the option so therefore, I think I will pass on my final, although still take it (and not hand it in!).  I can’t resist a challenge.  Although… I didn’t submit my answers for the music leads.  I know one was Duran Duran! I just didn’t have time to research the others! Being a teen in the 80’s I probably could have figured most of them out.  But I opted instead to focus on my upcoming trip on May 5th. That is why I am not doing the final – I need to concentrate on packing and getting the house in order. (That and the fact that I don’t need to raise my grade – just hoping my third grade is on par with the other 2! – a chance I am willing to take.)

I thoroughly enjoyed taking this class for so many reasons:

1. Dr. Halavais presented the material in a clear and professional way.
2. Brenda (TA) was an extremely helpful “friend” that was there when I was feeling a bit confused and frustrated.  She was always responsive and informative.
3. Blogging – my first time ever.  I love communication and the entire realm of how individuals interact with one another.  Blogging was another way of communicating that I have always wanted to try but was too timid to start – until this semester, when it was required.
4. Every day I would turn the computer on and check my site, my stats and the aggregator and see what everyone was up to.  I loved reading everyone’s post, even the ones I did not agree with but especially the ones I felt a connection to or those post that were witty and just sucked you right in.
5. After 14 years of taking care of my family and doing things for others, it was very nice to do something for myself and reap the benefits!
6. I can now tell my friends and family that I took and passed a course on Pornography and watch their expression on their faces change (most of them already know I am taking it anyway…but I still love the reaction I get from those that do not!)
7. I loved being able to watch the lectures at midnight and post my assignments at any given hour – although I now found out what days were the best days to post! (midweek )
8. I appreciated reading other people’s views on the subject.  Relieved to see that I was not alone in my thoughts yet interested in reading the opposing views and how they justified it.
9. Through my connection to this class and one of my post, I was interviewed by a Buffalo News reporter and I appear in one of her articles.  That was very exciting – although I actually used the word “nerd”! Hey the interview was early in the morning, I wasn’t thinking straight! But it is always exciting to see your name in print!

There are many other reasons why I loved this class but I have hit a road block! That and the fact that I have to take my daughter to her softball game right now is why I will leave it at that!

So what have I learned from this class? That will be another post, my friends! I still have to organize my thoughts on that one! 

My thoughts on the Child Pornography and Obscenity Prevention Amendments of 2006

Web site operators posting sexually explicit information must place official government warning labels on their pages or risk being imprisoned for up to five years, the Bush administration proposed Thursday.

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales at an event in Alexandria, Va. stated the above as a law he proposes to help protect innocent people from accidentally stumbling upon pornography on the web.

Many thoughts came to mind while reading this article. One being “enough with the ACLU”.  I do not see how they can interpret this as being against the First Amendment.

To make things clearer,

• the law looks to have the websites rate their material, as we see with television shows (TV14LV),
• not put obscene or indecent postings on their opening page, thereby protecting innocent users from seeing anything objectionable when/if they click on the link by accident,
• prevents websites from using deceptive words or images to lure people to their site (such as Barbie or Teletubbies) within their search codes.

I do not think this infringes on anyone’s First Amendment rights as some opponents claim.

A critic of the proposal said that its requirements amount to an unreasonable imposition on Americans’ rights to free expression.

They can express what they want, how they want it, they just have to alert the masses about the content.  They are being told to abstain from posting any illicit items on its home page, so that if the visitor sees anything offendable, it is due to their continued curiosity by navigating further into the site. I don’t think this is seen as such an imposition.  Why must there be people out there making things difficult just because they “feel it is their right to do so”. They are arguing for the sake of arguing and I have no patience or sympathy for their cause. Their focus should be protecting the innocent, especially children.

The one thing I see as being a little controversial is the mandatory records for Internet providers to keep track of their user’s history.  However, we see that phone records are  accessible with a search warrant when mandated, therefore why should the Internet be any different? I think legislators should tread carefully on this topic so as not to infringe on anyone’s rights, but I believe it is an important tool to help capture child predators.  I don’t believe we should be looking at everyone’s use and history, just the ones that are red-flagged as abusers.  The FBI and other law enforcements can use this to prove their case.  Again, records are kept with phone conversations, therefore I do not see this as being an infringement on people’s rights.

Now, I would like to see this become law because as I stated above I don’t see any infringements to anyone’s rights.  But the news agencies have a legitimate gripe.  What happens when they are reporting about a rape, murder, etc?  Do they have to label themselves with a higher rating?  This is an interesting debate. One that caused a similar bill to dissipate in the 1990s. 

I believe all websites should be rated, no matter the content. Use the same codes we use for TV and add additional ones for adult content. News groups can have their own rating with a disclaimer that states that some articles may be offensive to the readers.  I think they should abide by the rules of not having anything objectionable on the first page. In this way, everyone can still access the news and they won’t be filtered out. 

Websites selling bathing suits and underwear may have to adhere to a stricter rating as well due to US v. Knox stating that any picture depicting close-ups of clothed pubic areas to be considered lascivious.  There is an exception whereby if the content is less than a certain percentage of the website, it does not have to be rated. Victoria Secrets will have a problem!

In conclusion, I wish to state that I am an advocate for this proposal. I hope to see this turned into law.  I think this is the first step to protecting innocent people on the website, while not infringing on anyone’s rights for free speech.  Labeling is done on records, movies, and TV shows, why shouldn’t we have a guideline for websites as well. We as consumers should demand it.

Middle School Child Arrested for Threatening others

Do you have a screen name, user-name or other form of identity to access certain accounts and sites on the Internet?

Do you have a password you need to use?

More importantly – do you share either with friends or family?

PLEASE DON’T – even if you think you can trust this person.

My 13 year old son (8th grader) came home the other day with a notice from the principal.  It appeared that a child used another’s screen name and instant messaged other students threatening to rape and kill them.  He proceeded to say he will kill their families and do some serious damage to the school.  I am not 100% sure (as rumors are flying high) if he posted this on MySpace as well.

Here are the facts as I know it:

• the threat did not come from the child who owns the screen name. (he was out of town – not that this makes a difference as you can access your account anywhere.)
• one girl notified the authorities and an investigation was immediately underway.
• this occurred over the weekend (I believe Sunday)
• By Monday, all the children were spreading rumors like wildfire, guessing who was making the threats.
• One individual with quite a reputation was accused by his peers (he was not in school and this seemed to solidify it for them)
• The student who owns the account was also accused since some children thought it was just a cover-up story.
• By Tuesday, an arrest was made.
• It was neither boy that the students were accusing.
• The actual student making the threats was in and out of school for months for personal and psychological reasons, therefore he was not at the forefront of anyone’s minds as a suspect. (out of sight, out of mind)
• The boy who owns the account is suing. (I am not sure who or why at this point. Perhaps for ruining his vacation – local police came to question him, or for defamation of character, or for stealing his identity.  I could only guess at this time.)

I plan to get more information from my son’s principal.  I doubt he will be very open about anything. Again, I am not familiar with legal matters, but I would assume they cannot speak about this openly to anyone prior to a trial or sentencing or whatever.

I will post back with an update.

However, in the meantime, if you suspect anyone has taken your password or figured it out, change it immediately.  You may find yourself in this poor boy’s situation.  I can’t even think of what was going on in his parent’s minds when the police came to question their son. My immediate response to hearing about this was thinking…was my son on the computer?  What were we doing?  Where were we? And then I breathed in relief…he was nowhere near a computer the whole weekend. (I know my son to be better than that, but I still panicked.)

Another question for Mr. Lucas came to mind…

While reading outside blogs (from my class aggregator) I came across numerous interesting blogs.  A lot have been religious in nature and some have been hedonistic.

Some have shut down because of death threats and the such.  Which is a shame.  I know people like that are out there, but it still shocks me everytime I hear things like this.

I was wondering since Mr. Lucas’ blog is so controversial if he had any threats made to him. If he has, what has he done in response? What do you find to be the best way to handle this type of negative attention?  Like I stated above, some of the posts I found said they decided to shut down (and perhaps reappear with another name).

I would  have no idea what I would do.  I have no tolerance for vicious oral or physical attacks perpetrated by anyone for any reason. I know Lucas mentioned in one of his posts how he appreciates homosexuals fighting back, but what about these types of threats on the internet?

Thanks for taking the time out to hear our questions.

It’s funny how things suddenly attract your attention

I read the newspaper everyday.

I pour myself a cup of coffee and I sit at my kitchen table and read the paper cover to cover – even the sports, business and lifestyle sections.

I am also on the Internet often.  I log on in the morning and I don't shut the computer down until I turn in at night.

But I find it very coincidental that whatever I happen to be learning in class during a particular week, there is a headline pertaining to the like in the newspaper or on-line.

One week we're discussing things being banned for obscenity and I read about the Gossip Girls series. 

Another week, it is about sex trafficking and I read Andrew Vachss article in the Parade magazine.

Another week, we are looking at violence and the use of porn and the Duke Lacrosse Scandal unfolds. 

This week for example is the controversy with Geico upset over the trademark infringement in which a local auto insurance rival depicts their gecko as road kill.  Don't believe me?  Read it here!

Now, I don't think this is an infringement but what do I really know about business law?  Very little is my answer.  However, here are my thoughts. Geico is known for their little green lizard.  This other company is just competing against Geico but instead of naming the company they are using their mascot.  I do not think anybody is going to mistaken their company for Geico.  But Geico has a responsibility to defend their trademark.  If they let this go, they may risk losing their trademark rights. It is up to Geico to go after other companies who use their trademark, win or lose; Geico has that responsibility to protect their precious lizard!

Now, had I not been taking this class I think I would have skimmed reading these articles and not have thought twice about it.  At least I would not have had an idea the significance they hold. But it sure seems like coincidence that they appear the same week we are covering said topics!

(To review the above topics in bold see my entire blog)

I forgot to mention another important point!

In a previous post, I responded to Blogging4Class’s post on the Congressional Hearings. I tried to describe the frustrations a parent in today’s society is feeling.  I am not sure if I was successful.

I missed one important point.  Today’s parents are doing a lot for their children.  I really cannot speak for all, but only for myself, but I see my neighbors doing and experiencing the same things.

My children are involved in a lot of social and athletic activities.  (I believe it will help shape them into more well rounded individuals.) They enjoy scouting, sports, dance, etc. They are academically successful so far as well.  I am not looking for praises or bragging in any way.  I am trying to get the point across that we are busy. 

As a parent, stay at home mom, I do the laundry, I cook, I clean, I organize, I shop for groceries, I shop for clothes, I shop for birthday presents for friends and relatives, I chauffeur my children and their friends to activities. I volunteer at my church, for the PTA and other organizations, which sometimes includes meetings and workshops to attend and I help with the children’s homework, mend their wounds, listen to their woes, referee their fighting, etc, etc. Did I mention about anything personally for myself? hmm…

What is my point?

We are all looking for more hours in our day.  We all complain that if we only had a few more hours, one more day, etc things will get done. Today’s society is all rush rush, hurry here, hurry there. No one has a minute anymore.  Add to that, trying to decipher the internet for those that didn’t grow up with it, is adding to our frustrations.  You’ve heard the saying “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”.  Well I don’t believe it.  But I do believe it is more of a challenge and it takes a longer time for that old dog to learn than it does the younger one. 

Parents are trying to keep up with technology so they can guide their children, but we must budget our time as well.  What is more important? I don’t know, clean clothes, food on the table, no porn on the computer….decisions decisions. This is not meant to be sarcastic or a cop-out, but if there were information available, learning tools for parents, it will make their job a lot more easier.  Yes, knowledge is power, but parents need to find out there is a problem first before they can protect their children from it.  These days it is everywhere, so a parent is at fault if they say who knew!  But they need more tools, not just the awareness to help them protect their child.

I welcome anyone to comment on either post.  I’m not looking for an argument; I am looking at how we can better help one another.  And if others can give parents an answer, I welcome the input.

Parental Controls – who’s teaching them

I came across Blogging4Class’s post on the Congressional Hearing.  I see all their points and they make a valid case.

However, I must stress that one point is much easier said than done.

Blogging4Class says:

Parents need to monitor their kids Internet activity, end of story. Too much trouble — too bad, you have to do what you have to do. You wouldn’t let your kid run around at night in a section of town known for drugs and pedophiles, why in heavens name would you let them run around on the internet by themselves? It’s the same thing. People have to realize that the virtual world does cross into reality right through their living rooms…. One of the other blogs mentioned that some parents are clueless when it comes to the computer let alone to know enough to install blockers and filters, I find that very disturbing that kids are more computer literate than their parents. 

Here is what I have to say about that:

1. I am 35
2. I am a mother
3. I have a 14 year old son and an 11 year old daughter.
4. I am technological (can figure out how to connect and set up the VCR, DVD, cable box, video recorder, etc) – my husband on the other hand is not.
5. I am protective (overprotective if you ask my children)
6. I graduated High School in 1988 – with only having one computer class – BASIC. (and it was a joke – oh and half a year!)
7. Attended UB for 3.5 years and took 2 computer programming classes – and let me stress this – they were NOT like the computer classes you take or computers as you know it.
8. I got pregnant with my son during my senior fall semester at UB and decided to go home for his birth – missing my final semester.
9. This is the first class I took since taking my leave! Nearly 14 years – because I decided it would be best to be a stay at home mother to my children.  I decided I wanted to be there for them. I wanted to go back to college when my daughter started school full time but medical reasons detained that plan until now.
10. My families first computer was 4 years ago – I am typing on said computer! :-O!
11. My son at the age of 9 taught ME.  I quickly grasped the concept and started learning on my own.
12. NO ONE TOLD ME WHEN I PURCHASED MY COMPUTER ABOUT ANY FILTERING SOFTWARE – I REPEAT NO ONE So how am I supposed to know one existed or how to go about installing one. How was I supposed to know this trash was out there for all to see.  Not until my computer ”acted up” and I didn’t speak to my husband for 3 weeks when all these wonderful pop-ups attacked my screen did I realize that this happens and it was a virus or whatever.  (He admitted to looking up lingerie for a Christmas gift for me and he found other interesting sites too and ever since then we had our little problem with the computer.)

It wasn’t until taking my computer in and having it serviced did I find out about how to protect myself from this intrusion.  My computer is in a local area – no privacy for the user. As a parent, I do what I can to protect my children. I am not saying ignorance is acceptable, but something has to be taught to make my generation aware of what is happening.  YES CHILDREN KNOW MORE THAN THEIR PARENTS – WE ARE NOT PROUD NOR HAPPY ABOUT THAT. But your generation is at a much better position, because you are growing up with the internet, you know what is out there.  In the beginning, we just innocently thought “wow what a great tool the kids can use for their homework!”  We saw it as a step above the word processor which was a step above the typewriter! You, on the other hand know more and are at an advantage to better protect your children when the time comes for you to start your family.  I say that is wonderful.  But in the meantime we have all these children in between that need to be protected and all the parents that need to be educated as well.

I hope I explained in a decent way the frustration we feel as parents these days.  Yes, there are some that couldn’t care less, but there is a vast majority of us that want to know how to protect our kids but just don’t know where to get the answers.  Parents want the burden to protect their children – they will do whatever it takes, but they need the tools and if tax dollars are needed to give them the tools, I think it is money well spent. (especially for those that are not technologically savvy. I happen to be lucky and learned how to protect my children from on-line predators and such, not all parents are like that, but that is not due to neglectful parenting.)

PS – Just because I know what I am doing and what is out there, it does not give my children 100% protection, which is the scary part: things beyond my control harming my children.

The Great Porn Debate – a tribute to another blog!

I searched and searched for a blog that wasn’t too hard core. Because that is not me.

I found many feminist blogs that I thought I could relate to, but I couldn’t.

Then I found Billy D’s blog (Because I Swear)  Although, it doesn’t have the overall theme of pornography, this one particular post does. Billy D, Morgan and Schrub debate on some topics and this one particular post deals with pornography. It relates to what we are learning this semester.  I enjoyed reading all three points of view and can somehow relate to all. 

Now, for those that are familiar with my posts, can probably guess that I would connect the most with Billy D.  And they would be correct. Although, I can see Morgan’s views and Shrub’s views as well.

I like when Morgan quotes “If it turns you on, it’s pornography; if it turns me on, it’s erotic.”  Because, in my opinion, what she writes is fine, but that may be somewhat hypocritical of me to say it is ok but pornographic images are not! However, if one stumbles upon her writing, you could easily stop reading. Pictures and graphics are harder to divert your eyes from.  And once that image is seen it is difficult to get out of your mind, it is ingrained forever. She posts about consenting adults, addiction, child porn and filtering systems.  She makes valid points, making it difficult to argue with her.  I am no religious zealot, but porn is not for me – so I can choose to not view like she suggests.  As far as prohibiting porn, she brings up an excellent point that it will not work, there are people with alcohol addiction, yet we all know that prohibition did not work with that.  Drunk driving kills. Pornography can too, but only in the extreme cases. This debate could go on forever.

Next, Billy D. posts his thoughts on the subject. He is a parent of two daughters and cringes at the thought that they may grace the pages of Playboy.  He speaks about consenting adults and the legalities of pornography.  But he also says it is wrong.  As a Christian, I can agree with his last statements about showing your love and commitment.  In my opinion, any thought of another person other than your spouse is in essence cheating.  Your mind and spirit are not with your partner but with another.  If this is happening, there is an underlying problem in your relationship that you need to work toward repairing.  Watching porn or fantasizing about others will only hurt the relationship more. (however, I spotted his appreciation for Shrub’s Tuesday postings! – read on for more info!)

And then last but not least there’s Shrub’s point of view.  He makes valid points as well.  He uses a lot of information we learned in our class, such as the stats and the laws regarding obscenity.  He clearly enjoys his pornography and doesn’t want anybody taking it away from him!  If you look at his blogs, you will note that he is a fan of beautiful woman, take into consideration his Testicular Tuesdays!  Overall, his blog is enjoyable to read. I recommend taking a peek!  I spent hours viewing all three bloggers sites the other night! They seem to have tremendous respect for one another despite their differences of opinions on some topics. I enjoy their debates on Wednesdays and now I think I will keep up on Shrub’s Monday postings!

Michael Lucas – just a few questions

I’ve read Michael Lucas’ essay and browsed his blog and website.   I would like to stress that I am not a homophobe nor do I begrudge the gay community of any rights as citizens of this country. I have friends and family that are homosexual and I see the struggles they encounter. With that said I would like to address a few items that troubled me and would like to pose some questions for Michael.

Michael makes references about Matthew Shepard and uses this tragedy to support his strong, opinions and convictions, which is commendable.  He has a cause and is not afraid to fight for it.

However, I noticed a few discrepancies and if you will, contradicting comments about what he writes and what he does.

My first question to Michael would be, how could you say that you ask a model if they have had unprotected sex and if they answer “yes” you will not hire them.  Then promote John Paulus on the Howard Stern show and stand behind him as he “outs” Clay Aiken.  It is stated in one of your blogs that John mentions having bareback sex (unprotected sex) with Clay.  If this is true, why is he performing in a movie of yours? I thought your policy was that you would turn  him away for his “irresponsible behavior” and would not want to risk your other actors’ health.  Why is this any different?  What makes John an exception to the rule? [please don't say it is because the act wasn't filmed] I won’t even go into the fact that I disagree wholeheartedly that one, regardless of celebrity status, political figures, or housewife, should be outed by another. But it does lead me to my second question.

You seem to be all about gay rights and the freedoms that are denied to them.  Yet, and please correct me if I am wrong, you also seem to put down others that don’t conform to your way of thinking and behaving, whether it be a person you may consider a “homophobe” or a person who wishes not to be “out” at this time.  You seem to want to push your beliefs on others yet get defensive if someone tries to do that to you.  Don’t you think we should all be tolerant of each other?

Finally, along those lines, you mention that “by distancing themselves from the adult gay community, media channels effectively stigmatize the porn star and his fans. There is no outlet for healthy expression of gay sexuality in mainstream media today.  To that effect, gay porn serves as a necessary outlet in homosexual society.”  It is known that many shun porn in general, not just gay porn; have you ever thought to bring homosexuality to main stream media? Perhaps, your talent can be what the gay community needs instead of depicting gay men as clownish or troubled. If you haven’t tried to go mainstream, what are your reasons, and if you have, what were your obstacles?

Thank you for reading my questions and I look forward to your answers. (I would have provided links but thought best not to do so at this time.)