Should a 10 year old girl wax her lip and tweeze her eyebrows?…what next her bikini line?

TLT214 (COM CLASS) writes powder puff women are “women whose main goal in life is to be as sexually appealing as humanly possible?”

This got me thinking about a few things that have been bothering me.

I am trying to raise my children with my values (traditional), to be kind to others and not be judgemental, to follow your heart and the 10 Commandments, especially the one about honoring your mother – oh yeah and father!.  It is EXTREMELY HARD IN THIS DAY IN AGE.

For example:   My daughter has a “friend” who is in her class (my daughter is 11, she is not quite there yet).  “Sam” is already shaving her legs, waxing her lip and tweezing/waxing her eyebrows.  AT 10!
My daughter has very dark hair on her legs so I just let her use the cream to remove them – because it can be embarrassing and she will be in shorts and swimsuits soon.  But to wax the hair on your face already?  I don’t know.  That seems so superficial – but am I being a hypocrite?  I’d like to know what others think about this.  What is this world coming to when a 10 year old or her parent for that matter feels it is important to groom herself in this way. 

In my opinion, she should just be understanding the rules of good hygiene: wash everyday, use deodorant, comb and style your hair, make sure you brush your teeth, use floss and mouthwash regularly, etc.  Adding to the pressure of a 5th grader to make sure her eyebrows are shaped perfectly is stressful?

So please, I am seriously interested in what others think.  Is this type of behavior over the top or mainstream?  Are 10 years old expected to look “picture perfect”?  Am I being ridiculous or hypocritical if I let my daughter “shave” her legs but condemn those that go beyond?  I am confused.  I really am – because when I look around and see our young girls trying to act older and older and appearing older it frightens me – can’t we just let them be children?

Your thoughts – please.


190 Responses to “Should a 10 year old girl wax her lip and tweeze her eyebrows?…what next her bikini line?”

  1. strambinha Says:

    Each case is a case. I had a girlfriend with an uni-brow, I think she waited too long to start tweezing. I might have wanted to do it when I was six. But she was sort of a tomboy and only when she was about 14 her brows started to bother her, and that’s when she groomed them. So I think she did it right because that was *her* time.

    I don’t like the idea of children wasting hours in front of a mirror trying to look like the Olsen twins, but if something realistic bothers a girl, like visible dark hair on the legs, or pubic hair that advances to the legs, she should definitely be allowed to take it off.

    Regarding the lip wax, I don’t think it is superficial at all, if I had a mustache, it would bother me more than anything else.

  2. way2much Says:

    Strambinha – thanks for you reply. I think you are correct. But I think 10 was a bit young, yet you say you would have done this at 6. Interesting. I don’t think I would have been aware of anything “amiss” at that age.
    I tended to look at myself and think “this is how it is” – accept it. As I got older, true teenage years, I got more ‘self conscious’.
    You mention the Olsen twins, and I think that is the problem: glamorizing pop culture figures has a major impact on our youth. (increasing self-consciousness rather than self-confidence.)

  3. it’s all about the porn! Says:

    […] Way 2 much blogged on  Should a 10 year old girl wax her lip… which reminded me of an observation I made about a month ago at a elementary school dance which I attended with my 8 year old son.  I'm not sure of the age ranges at the dance but it was probably 7-10 or so. What I observed primarily was the difference between the way the boys and girls were dressed for the dance.  […]

  4. Beth Says:

    My mother didn’t let me shave my legs until I was 12, and pluck my eyebrows until I was 16. Nobody ever made fun of me, and I turned out just fine. 😉 I think it’s an individual choice, however, I DO thing 10 is WAY too young to be plucking eyebrows, at least for most girls. My sister is 9 and I can’t even imagine her getting ready to start removing facial hair. I can see 12 or 13, or once she’s gotten her period, but 10 does seem very very young to me.

  5. jmmurphy | young girls becoming women to early? Says:

    […] I understand that it is hard to believe that some girls are waxing their lip or eyebrows and shaving their legs at the age of 10 but this does not mean they do not still have a strong set of values behind them.  Way too much blogged about how she is trying to raise her 10 year old daughter to have good traditional values but was surprised to hear that one of her daughter’s classmates is already shaving her legs and waxing her lip.  To me this does not seem superficial; I feel that it depends on the type of household you grow up in.  If you do not put much emphasis on these activities and just look at them as normal hygiene habits that women do young girls are not going to feel like they are so special because they are finally shaving their legs.  I was in 5th grade the first time that I got my eyebrows waxed, and the reason was that they were taking over my face!  It was very uncomfortable for me and when I did get them waxed you could hardly notice but to me it was such a huge deal for my self confidence.  […]

  6. way2much Says:

    thanks for your input! I agree and the idea of individual choice seems to rule. This one particular girl I speak of has other characteristics that I find are too mature, as in false maturity – if I am explaining myself right – and look at me trying to preach about being non-judgemental! But I am trying to find out if this is a societal issue or personal one. I blame the media (television, movies).

    You bring up excellent points as well. Some of these girls my daughter goes to school with have started in 3rd grade! I think that was extreme. My daughter asked at that time to shave her legs, I explained like your mom did, that once you start there is no stopping. She stopped asking. She did not ask about it since, yet my husband told me I should “do” her legs because it is embarassing. (What is it to him?!) But we were noticing how in the warm weather she would be wearing long pants, shorts over her bathing suit, etc. So I made up my mind that this would be the year to start with her – right before she begins middle school. Like it has been stated by everyone, individual choice is key, you do what you are comfortable with. I thank you for your input. You’re a lucky woman to have your mom in your life.

  7. strambinha Says:

    I’m back. As I see the development of the discussion, I must say I believe part of the problem is *shaving* the legs. The hair grows thicker, and it itches when you don’t shave. Legs should be waxed, because it will keep for six weeks or so, and over the years less hair grows.

    Until I was 14, I was afraid of waxing (my sage mother told me it was a little painful and gave me tweezers to experiment, ah ah ah). Therefore I chose to use something that made the hair very blonde, some cheap stuff for head hair. It worked for me because I did not have much.

    I was naturally fascinated by women stuff since I was 3 or 4 – though my mother never wore more than a lipstick, and media was not mean as it is today. I used to dream about the day when I would be allowed to use make up and high heels. My mother always put a strong value on cleanness above vanity, and always reminded me that it was good to look pretty but the inside was what would keep people believing I was beautiful.

  8. way2much Says:

    Strambinha –

    Your mom sounds like a very wise person. Now if only I can instill that philosophy in my daughter. She is so beautiful inside it could make you cry. I am really proud to be her mom; she is caring, thoughtful, considerate, always thinking of others and doing her best not to leave anyone out or hurt them in any way. That is why my heart bleeds for her whenever she feels alienated or hurt in any way.

    Some of the girls in her grade can be downright nasty. It is all about the name-brand clothes you wear, down to the shoes. My daughter tends to be comfortable with sweats and a t-shirt! She is just starting to fix her hair just so and loves to put some nail-polish on. Other than that, she couldn’t care what she looks like, as long as she is neat and clean.

    Removing the hair on her legs was a big deal for her. She feels so much better about herself. She thinks she has to do it again – but I can barely see any growth! We used the cream, since I am against “shaving” as you described all the negative aspects about it. She was afraid to wax, but I think that would have been the best option. But we went another way. Your mom was very creative when she handed you the tweezers to test it out!

  9. Way 2 Much » Where Can I get that Barbie Pill? Says:

    […] (As in stated in one of my previous post, a comment says that beauty is internal – I couldn't agree more, so why am I still contemplating taking this drug if it is approved?) […]

  10. Kiran Says:

    I have been on both sides of this situation. I started shaving when I was 9 (nearly 28 years ago)behind my mother’s back, as I was so hairy, and puberty started at age 9 as well as my period (I had not even had the puberty talk at school yet, nor had my mother talked about it). I loved gymnastics but was embarrased to wear leotards, so I secretly started using my dad’s shaver. I come from a strict asian background who at that time mothers did not speak to their daughters of such things. At school all the english girls were not that hairy, but I was fair skinned and had very dark prominent hair. I was also teased at school about my unibrow, so started plucking the front of my eyebrows at 11.
    So now I have a daughter of 11 who started her period a year ago, and is even more hairer than I was. I have been honest with my daughter and have explained that beauty starts from within and to try and ignore what kids at school say (but then I remember how I felt at school and how hard it was to concentrate on studies or do simple things like PE).
    I had the puberty talk with her at the age of 9 and told her to let me know if she wants to talk about any personal issues, especially her body. Thank God I had that conversation with her, as one day she came from school very upset, as her school would be going swimming, and she did not want to go. All because she did not want to wear a swimming costume. We decided to cream it off. We had to do it twice as her hair is very thick, as I was totally against shaving. But in the end we had to shave it. She asked me about waxing, so I took her, she was only 10 years, ( and I was very tearful, as I knew exactly what she was going through) but it was painful, so she just shaves now. She has came out of her little shell and has started to participate in sport and getting good grades at school. She also has a unibrow and also get teased about it, so I just pluck a few hairs off the middle so it doesn’t look so bad. The hair on her upper lip was always prominent but now it looks very hairy. I do not want her to start removing hair from her top lip, yet, but she is asking when she can remove it? what do I do now? My sister is totally against the idea, but her daughter is the same age but hairless. Do I do what is best for my child and her happiness and her confidence, I know if I say no, she will do it behind my back, as I did all those years ago. What do I do?

  11. way2much Says:

    Kiran ~

    When I read your comment, immediately a lump formed in my throat and tears came to my eyes. I know exactly what you and your daughter are going through.

    Backround information – I went to a private school in which the uniform was a long skirt and long socks. Only my knees showed. (not sure how I would have felt if my whole leg was showing) I was able to wear sweats for gym. I remember being in the 6th or 7th grade when I received my first electric razor for Christmas. Times were different then – some 25 years ago. I don’t think there was so much pressure to be “hair free” as there is today.

    I do remember one boy sticking Scotch tape on my arm and pulling it off and laughing at the sight of hair left on the tape – not sure if he knew it then that he in essence invented “waxing”!

    I have the type personality to laugh things off and not take it to heart. But after a while I got self conscious.

    As far as my legs, I started around 12. I have dark, course hair myself. And it grew back fast. I have to do my legs every day in the summer. I tend to slack off in the winter – much to my husband’s horror. Sometimes, I neglect my legs to purposely annoy him! (another story!) But now that I am shaving everyday I feel gross when I skip a day. Annoying. My eyebrows are bushy but not a uni-brow. I do thin them out from time to time. My daughter has the same eyebrows. This will have to be a decision she will have to make. Right now at the age of 11, she is fine with her eyebrows.

    Her lip is ok for now too. But once it gets to be too much (for her) I will let her wax it off.

    Like you, I was torn on this issue. What to do? I know/feel she is young yet I know how I felt when I was being teased.

    Since your daughter feels better since taking care of her legs and eyebrows, perhaps it is not a bad thing to let her do her lip. My experience is that I have to keep up with it only once a month.

    What upsets me now is when I go to get a manicure (a treat I give myself every once in a while). I will go to the salon to wax my lip, eyebrow (I get so red) and then have my nails done. I just started to get hair around my neck/jaw line (just a bit) and they are trying to talk me into removing that. I am not sure I want to. I found once I removed hair – a lot more developed! I don’t want that to happen. Stambinha mentioned using a hair cream to make it lighter but I have olive complexion – not sure that would look right. The technician also pointed to my arms and said “you do – make nice?” and I said NO. But, now at 35, I am a bit annoyed by the hair on my arm – it is not much but it is enough to bother me – but why? Is it because I realized others are noticing? And so what – it doesn’t make me look any less attractive.

    I am trying to teach my daughter that beauty comes from within, but it is hard to feel beautiful if you feel some insecurities. I think if you take care of your insecurities, you will feel a bit better about yourself. I am not saying conform to societal standings if it goes against your beliefs, but if you do a bit of self grooming and not be consumed by it, you will start to feel better about yourself and it will show on the outside as well. You will become more outgoing and not back away from social situations.

    I still have a lot of insecurities about myself. I developed a large chest – some say they would kill for them, but they also attracted unwanted attention. So it is not all good, and I formed scoliosis from early development, so what is so great about it – only that society glorifies big breasts. I added a few pounds since having children and that disgusts me – for health reasons and yes because I don’t like what I see in the mirror.

    But to get back to your daughter – I am no expert or claim to be, but if she really wants to remove hair on her lip, I suggest letting her. I just can’t stand my daughter’s classmates putting her down and elevating themselves because they are at a different stage than she is. My daughter had to start to wear deodorant at 8. She brought a small bottle to use after gym class. This same friend who is waxing/tweezing/shaving made fun of her. Why? Her mother told me that she was using deodorant too. So why did she have to point my daughter out? Because she is cruel and sad to say, some kids are. My daughter was so hurt and she couldn’t understand why a “friend” would do this. I had to explain to my daughter what a “friend” would do – and she is now able to decipher who her true friends are.

    We can only guide our children – I always bring my experiences to my children. I let them know how I used to feel, what I did, what I think I should have done differently, how I see things differently as an adult and then try to guide them to make decisions for themselves. I can only give her the knowledge I possess and pray that she processes the information and makes decisions based on what is in her heart.

    This particular post generates a lot of readers, so please anyone reading, feel free to comment and perhaps we can help one another out. If your views are different from mine – please let us know. Informed decisions can only be made when all sides are looked at. Perhaps someone else can give Kiran some other suggestions.

    But my bottom line is despite what your sister thinks, you must do what is best for your daughter. She cannot empathize since she and her own daughter do not have the same physical make-up as you, but perhaps being different, she is trying to say that she doesn’t see anything wrong and perhaps we (dark haired people) are seeing ourselves in a false light.

    Hope this helped.

  12. #8 ~K Says:

    I say wax the lip! Or cream it away at least. Not a day went by in Junior high that someone didn’t make fun of my mustache. Not to mention the nicknames my lovely friends called me…Stache…Musti. My mom didn’t see any need to do anything about it. So one day I got rid of it myself. I used a nail scissor to trim the hairs. That just made everyone think I shaved! I had no idea about waxing or bleaching products. I think I finally started using Jolen(bleach)in the 8th grade…waited way too long. But that’s the way I was brought up. Accept what you have…good or bad. It didn’t bother me until my “friends” started pointing it out to me everyday! So I guess it starts when other people start to notice it. Waxing is painful and sometimes those creams don’t work, but the hair must go! Women were not meant to have mustaches! Don’t even get me started on those hairs on my chin!!!

  13. way2much Says:

    I agree! Yeah, accept what you have – and we come from one hairy family! I remember some creeps making fun of my nose hairs! I didn’t even know I had them!

    What is with those chin hairs! I mean what the hell? I have to carry a tweezer with me in case I find a long strand growing out of nowhere! Do men know what we go through to be beautiful!

  14. hannah Says:

    im hannah im 10 years old and my mum wont let me shave my legs. i am not very confident about wearing skirts and shorts my legs are sort of hairy. and im quite popular at school so people are looking at me all the time. i was once called hairy legs at school. my best friend shaves and im jelous… was my mum right or wrong?????

  15. way2much Says:

    This is for HANNAH.
    Please get your mum and read this together. She should know you were on line and contacted me. I am just another mom and I write things that interest me. I know I would want to know if my daughter was receiving information from a stranger. So please, let your mum know what you did.

    You ask a difficult question. I am somewhat unsure of how to answer you and I am sorry for that. But I will try.

    I think your mum knows what is best for you. I believe she made the decision with your best interest at heart. You may be unhappy with her decision and I do not blame you. Lots of children are upset with their parent’s rules and decisions mainly because they don’t understand them.

    With that said, I suggest you ask your mum what her reasons are. You need to give her your reasons why you want to shave your legs as well. Let her know you are self-conscious of the way you look and there are children in your class that make fun of you.

    But you must remember that who you are in the inside is what really matters. You say you are popular at school – this will not change if you don’t shave. What made you popular and liked by all the others will still be there whether you have hair on your legs or not.

    Once you start to shave, you cannot decide to stop. You must do it often to keep up. Perhaps your mum would like to talk to your pediatrician to discuss other ways to remove your hair. I think if you discuss it with her nicely, you may come to a conclusion you are both happy with.

    I wish you luck with talking to your mum. Don’t get all mad and get into an argument. If you don’t like your mum’s answer, you will still have to abide by her rule. She is not trying to be mean, but she is trying to do what is best for you.
    Like your mum, I didn’t want my daughter shaving at such a young age. She is now 11 and just started. We live in the United States, I am not sure where you live, but each culture is different. What may be good for one child (like your best friend) may not be good for others (like you) at this time. I wish you luck discussing this with your mum. And whatever the outcome is, always remember, you are a beautiful girl.

    PS – if you do start to shave – promise you won’t make fun of other girls who haven’t yet.

  16. hannah Says:

    thank you very much

  17. suzie Says:

    im almost turning 14 and im bout to go into high schol. i ahve bushy eyebrown and a mustache. my arm has hair on it. so do my legs but its against my relgion to show my legs so i dont really careaobut my legs. but i do care about my arm and upper lip and eyebrows. i used to b very outgoing until ppl sattred to make fun of me in 6th grade, then i felt bad about myself. not that many ppl say anything to me anymore expet a couple of ppl but i kno i look ugly. my mom wont let me roemove it. i dont want to go into high school being soo hairy. i cant even look in the mirrior without thing or feeling ugly. what can i do to convince me mom to let me remove it? she is soo stubborn. and i feel like if i dont get it removed it will ruin life. im very shy and self concious so i dont have many friends like i used to. i really want her to let me remove it ! im sick off ppl maing fun of me

  18. Way 2 Much » A Little Flustered! Says:

    […] One of my posts is enjoying a nice readership and following, (180 hits for the past week and 532 for the month) however, I think they are seeing me as some kind of advice columnist as they are young girls asking for my opinion and help.  I am flattered but more than anything saddened that I don't think I can help so much. I am asking anyone who reads my blog to read the comments on this particular post and feel free to comment.  There is a question there that still needs my attention, and unfortunately, I don't have a minute to give it the proper attention it needs until Friday. If anyone is out there reading this and thinks they can help these young girls, please feel free to contribute in any way – PLEASE – SERIOUS CONSIDERATION AND COMMENTS ONLY. These children are hurting. […]

  19. way2much Says:

    I read your comment and will reply real soon. I will give it some thought and get back to you. Keep checking until you see a reply.

  20. suzie Says:

    thank you!

  21. suzie Says:

    i was planning on asking my mom to let me start to wax my eyebrows and upper lip and arms for my birthday presnt. my birthday is in july and you have no idea how happy i will be if she lets me! i just want to be the me i was 2 years ago. i was soo outging and peppy and now im shy and i feel ugly and i feel like no one wants to be my freind. but i dont think my mom will let me. she is set on it that she is not going to let me wax or anything until im like 16 or 17. she satrted when she was 18. but that was in her time when ppl d didnt feel the presure to look perfect. now times have changed and shes not changing with them. i just want to be pretty : (

  22. suzie Says:

    about your daughter does she want to wax her lip? well i do think 10 is to young about 12 is a good age. unless she has a visble musatche and her brows are thick then u should let her wax them. but i do have girls in my school that wax there lip and eyebrows who r only 11. and my freind whever she was 10 waxed her eyebrows and lips and arms and legs at 10! but everyone is diffrent if u think she needs to then u should let her. or talk to her and ask her if people make fun of her, if they do then chances are you should let her start to wax on her face.

  23. ~Kat #8 Says:

    Does your mom know that you feel this way? Have you told her about the kids making fun of you and how shy you are now? If you haven’t you should…If you have and she still doesn’t understand try explaining to her that ‘hair’ doesn’t care how old you are! Certain things must wait until the age of 18…but I don’t think this is one of them. Try and talk to your mother about why she is so against it at this age. If she still doesn’t let you then you can try again in a couple of months. Until then, please don’t think of yourself as being ugly. I’m sure you’re beautiful and a little hair on your lip can’t take that away. TRY not to care what other ppl think…I know that’s almost impossible at your age, but that’s what I did. I just ignored the ppl that made fun of me. Who wants to be friends with ppl like that anyway? BTW I was 13 when I started using things like nair to get rid of the hair on my lip. Waxing really hurts!!! My mom didn’t even know it was an issue until I told her! Your mother thinks you’re perfect the way you are and probably doesn’t understand how big of a deal this is to you. So the best advice I can give you is to keep talking to your mom about it. Make sure you don’t whine but really talk it out.
    Good Luck
    #4- How’d I do? Do you approve?

  24. way2much Says:

    Kat #8,
    You did a great job – I approve. You are a good one to respond to this issue. I still am trying to form my answer. As a mother of an 11 year old girl and as a woman who remembers the comments from her childhood, I am trying to find a perfect balance.

    I hate that society today makes girls feel inadequate. I am not sure how much hair we are talking about. Cousin #1 amount? I mean – no offense Big A – but that would be a hell of a lot! If you can’t tell if you have a sweater on or if that is hair on your arms, then that is a lot of hair. If it is like mine, it is a bit more than most but I don’t let it make me feel any less beautiful.

    Some people look at me and think I look like Julia Roberts (I say no!). I think she is pretty and some think she is not. It is all in the eye of the beholder! BTW – my husband says I don’t look like her! HMM what does that mean?

    I think when it comes to your face – the focal point of everyone’s gaze – especially the eyes, 14 is not too young to start waxing or tweezing the eyebrows. The lip hair can be removed as well. I see some ladies and I cannot believe they are comfortable and confident enough NOT to remove the hair from their lip – I am talking a manly mustache here. They may be sweet, but I just see them in passing so I have no idea. My only thoughts are “why aren’t you grooming yourself?” And then I feel horrible for judging.

    I hope Suzie discussed this with her mother in a mature way. You gave great advice. I think her idea of having it as a birthday present is wonderful. She can make a day of it. Go to a salon, get her face waxed and then get her nails done as well. It would be a perfect mother/daughter outing. I hope her mother is open to discussion.
    I will adress Suzie again personally through this comment, but right now I have to get dinner ready. Still trying to form that perfect answer – be patient Suzie, but in the meantime, Kat has a wonderful suggestion – take it to heart.
    Until then, good luck.

  25. way2much Says:

    Suzie, is that you on that site? I promised I would answer you and I will, but in the meantime, look above at comment #15 addressed to Hannah – the same can go for you – only I do think you are mature enough for the grooming process. But you would still need to work it over with your mom. I am not sure about your religious and cultural beliefs and I would hate to go against your family values, so this is definitely something you need to discuss with your mother in a mature way. Like Kat said, no whining. If she says no – wait a week or two and approach the subject again. Let her know how much it means to you and why. Chances are your mother doesn't realize how much this means to you – that does not make her a bad mother. We moms are just doing our best. Just like you are new at being 14 – your mom is new at being a mom of a 14 year old girl! Being 14 and the mother of one, even though we were there once ourselves, are two completely different things. Give her a chance to explain her views and perhaps you can come up with an agreement.

    I am hoping to hear from Hannah to see how things worked out with her.
    I will be back with a more indepth response.

  26. suzie Says:

    thanks for the advice :]
    well my mom doesnt want me to wax at this age because she told me that whenever i get older its going to be very think and sublte and i wont be able to wax it off becuase it will get soo thick. well that what she told me happened to her cousin. so i kno when she says that she wants me too wait for me too start to wax and remove hair she thinks thats best for me, but ya i havent really told her poeple make fun of me. well the last time i tired to was in 5th grade and she told me just to ignore the people and not to care what they think. whenever i try to talk to her about this i will try not to yell or whine and have a calm converstion with her, but then shell proably start yelling and that will make me yell. but i will try my hardest not to whine.

  27. ~Kat #8 Says:

    5th grade was a long time ago. She needs to know that kids still make fun of you and how it's affecting you. I'm not sure about what happened to her cousin, but it sounds like she's dead set against waxing. There's plenty of other ways to get rid of the hair. Sally Hansen has a whole product line of facial hair removers or even bleach. Sometimes turning the hair blonde on the upper lip looks even worse depending on your skin tone. Maybe your mom would be open to that instead of waxing? Just keep communicating with her. Hope she doesn't yell too much! 😉

  28. suzie Says:

    well i did bring it up like a couple months ago. but she was just like your to young! yes she is very againat waxing! she gets her hair removed my threading it. have you ever heard of that? well maybe she will let me use facial removeal cream or something hopefully! i think that she thinks tha no1 waxes and stuff at this age but they do! like back in her days people proably didnt wax or anything so she thinks that they dont do it now this early but they do!ill try to explain it to her and show her this site. well bleaching may not be the best for my skin tone since im tan. lol ya i hope she wont yell much either! 🙂

  29. way2much Says:

    I like that you set your page to private. There are too many people you need to look out for. Be careful while you are online. Not everyone is going to be as upfront and honest as you may think.

    I am a 36 year old mom and Kat is my cousin – she is also a mom. She is about 6 years younger than I. We are both dark haired with brown eyes and dark complexion/olive – tans easily. So bleaching is not an option for us.

    I think it would be a wonderful idea to introduce your mom to this site. She should know all the places you visit online as well. It is important for your safety. You don't want anyone having too much information about you – so be careful of what you post on your site as well as what you put out there on others – like this one. Kat and I are on the up and up. I can't speak for those that may stumble upon this site and read it. They can get info and use it to their advantage, so just don't give out too much personal info – ok!

    Now, back to the issue at hand. I have heard of threading and I am curious about it. It must take forever – well to do something like my legs or my lip or eyebrows. How long does it last? I now just pluck my eyebrows, but I really need to wax again. I was thinking of the threading, but does it hurt? If I wax, it usually lasts 3-4 weeks, with touchups with a tweezer in between.

    I usually cream the hair off my lip. I need to do this about once or twice a month. Again, sometimes, I use tweezers to get a stray strand here or there.

    Your mom is concerned that you are too young. Some issues she may have is that it will hurt,
    once you start – you shouldn't stop,
    it may affect your skin such as irritation, blotching or burning,
    and most importantly she is trying to teach you self-respect regardless of looks or what people think. That in my opinion is a biggest lesson to be learned from everything. She may be afraid that once you start on one area, you may want to do more and more.

    For example, I was just at the salon getting my nails done. I was getting a pedicure and the woman laughed that I had some hair on my feet. I usually pluck them, but I was in a rush that morning and I just decided to treat myself and forgot those strands were there. I was upset with her, not that she made me feel bad, but because she had nerve. Yeah, I have about 10 strands of hair on my feet. Yeah I hate it, but who are you to make fun of it. Then she pointed to my arms again. I am 36 and pretty secure about myself. I didn't let it bother me or make me feel bad, but like I said I thought it was rude of her. PLUS, she just wanted me to spend more money to wax it off. My point is where do we draw the line. First the legs and under arms for ladies were a necessity, now we are going to the eyebrows and lip. Some are doing the arms, even stomach, back, etc. Hair is on the body for a reason. Not getting all technical or anything, but it is there to capture bacteria and germs, so as not to get into your body. It is a protection. To wax it all off would be opening yourself to more chances of an infection. NO ONE SHOULD shave the bikini area unless there are some hairs that appear out of a bathing-suit. Other than that, leave it alone!

    Discuss it with your mom, I don't know her, but if she yells it is only from frustration and not anger. She wants you to be happy and seeing you unhappy and not being able to help in a way she deems appropriate is frustrating to a parent. Be patient with her and discuss this. I think you are ready to open the dialogue again. Tell her you would like to show her something that has been bothering you and you found a site that discusses it. And see if she is willing to talk again. Communication is key to a good relationship. High school is a big step. My son is starting this year as well. He is lucky, he is blonde and has some hair on his lip but he is not forced by society to remove it. I offered for him to start, but he declined. My husband, his dad, thought I was nuts, yet he wanted my daughter to shave her legs. Again it is how society perceives you. I think it is terrible, but we live in this world and it is up to us to be happy and take responsibility for ourselves. We have to do what is right for us, not what everyone else is doing. But if it is hurting you this much, the time is right for you now. I hope you can work it out with your mom.
    keep us posted.

  30. suzie Says:

    the only person i talk to is my one of my freinds one there, but i really think that mysapce is very dangerous! becuase if you put to much info on there someone can easily find where you live, and your number or something! but anyways i would want to introduce this site to my mom but she will proably get mad that im talking to people i dont kno ! so is there any way i can delete my comments on here when it comes time to show her this site? ya i kno she is only doing this because she cares about but i do think shes being to overprotective. well my mom threads and i dont think it takes to long – 10 mintues to the most.but she did tell me that it is painful, but i think the hair is gone lnger whne you thread it because i rarely see my mom tweezing her eyebrows inbetween her threading sessions. omg i would be so mad if someone said that to me! yes sicety does make people feel like they need to b perfeect and its sad that they cant accept people for the way they are. tahnks for the adivce i will tell you how everything works out :] and goo luck to your son in high school!

  31. Michelle Says:

    I am twelve and I shaved a couple of times but I never told my mom though. I do think ten is a little to early to wax your lip and do your eyebrows. I am 12 and I haven’t done my eyebrows yet. My mom says I can do them if I want but I am not ready yet.

  32. suzie Says:


  33. way2much Says:

    Thanks Suzie,
    For the wishes of luck!
    As far as your comments are concerned – I am trying to find a way to hide them. If you really want I quess I can delete them. The only reason why I wouldn’t want to do that is because your comments help others with the same problem, and if I delete them, the flow of the conversation may seem somewhat off. But I will see what I can do.

    Michelle, your mom seems wise to hand the decision to you. She may have realized you were not ready and trust that you know when you will be. Don’t rush into doing anything. Enjoy being twelve and the carefree lifestyle you should be having. Worrying about tweezing, shaving and waxing should not be part of your problems at this time of your life! Just have fun with your friends and enjoy the summer. BTW – chances are – your mom knows you are shaving your legs. 🙂

  34. suzie Says:


  35. way2much Says:

    Suzie, check out all comments. Let me know if this is ok – I hid the others. Make sure you look at everything.

  36. anon Says:

    Here’s what I say about the whole shaving/waxing tweezing thing:
    I started to shave my legs when I was in forth grade so about 10years old. I had dark hair and yes, It’s embarrassing! I asked my mom for an electric shaver for christmas and told her why I wanted it. I think at 10 a razor is dangerous and waxing is something the child can’t very well do on her own so maybe you could concider an electric shaver. as for eyebrows and lips I waited until I was in middle school before I started tweezing my brows (probably about 8th grade)but ofcourse if I had a major unibrow my mom would have let me just tweeze the middle but not shape the whole thing. As for waxing lips, I wouldn’t do it unless it was really really bad and then perhaps with facial hair bleach so it would be less difficult to maintain ( this too should wait until middle school, just before high school). I have 2 girls. one is 13 and just started tweezing about 6 mos ago but has been shaving her legs for about 2yrs now. My other daughter is 9 years old and we haven’t had to deal with it yet but she will probably be on the same schedule maybe she’ll wait a bit loner only cause she’s a blondie and the hair doesn’t show up as much. Hope my comments help 🙂

  37. way2much Says:

    your comments do help. Thank you for posting.
    My daughter is 11 – heading to middle school. She is using cream (VEET) to take the hair off her legs. She now needs to do it once a week (at least). She will not do her lip nor her eyebrows until she is a teenager.

    Make-up is another issue all together. She dances and twirls so she needs to put make-up on for her competitions, but she hates it (NOW). I hate make-up as well, but still do the minimum, mascara, eyeliner (not heavy with it) and ocassionally blush. A bit of lip gloss only for moisturizer.

    I always wished I was blonde and had blue eyes! BUT I am now appreciating my black locks and my brown eyes. Still think blue eyes would be nice! LOL!
    I like my hair color, but only wish I was blonde for the rest of my body! For all the reasons up above! On the other hand my sister (the lucky one she is) has dark hair but very little on her body! ahh maybe she needs to shave once a MONTH – and only because she feels she should! We share the same parents! Why did she get that quality and not me! Now I sound like a whiny baby! So I will stop!

  38. lauren Says:

    its not to much to shave your legs if u have dark legs or wax your eyebrows or lips cause your just not use to the changes i even do all that besides my lips and im 11 and ive been doing that for a year these days theirs alot of peer preasure and people get into it with the people who have started and yes people have been starting these days at this age even me.

  39. lauren Says:

    and btw im a blonde but i got into peer preasure to and it is streasfull thats why u need to ask her more of the situation around school and help her and well if its nessisary let her feel the way she wants to by letting her do girly things like shopping and let her wear stuff like lipgloss and little stuff like that will help the way she feels about herself and make her more confident but dont make her spoiled itll make her snobby beleave me. so make her work for some of the stuff she gets and before buying her stuff you might wannna think if its appropriate.

  40. Beth Says:

    My 11 year daughter recently came to me to tell me that she wanted to shave her legs. I finally gave in and bought her an electric razor at Target last week. She is very proud of this. I can’t remember when I started. But now she wants to tweeze her eye brows and I said no. I do no think this is a necessity at age 11. Plus she has blonde hair and brows.

    Next. My daughter came home crying today. Her friend called to play. She went to her friend’s. They decided to go swimming. My daughter changed into her suit. Half way there her friend “remembered” she was supposed to go to the pool with another girl and told my daughter she couldn’t come because girl B hates my daughter. – I know my daughter will do anything to still hang out with anyone. How to teach her self respect? I would tell that girl she is a biatch if she were an associate of mine! But I can’t coach that…

  41. suzie Says:

    yes that is perfect! thank you so much for all your help!

    its really sad how much siocety make us feel the need to be perfect all the time. they just cant accept us for being simply oursleves.

    gosh that was really mean of your duaghters freind to say that to her. tell her that if her freinds dont like her for who she is that she shouldtn be freinds with them. she shouldetn be freinds with that one girl that told her she couldent go swimming with her just becuase her other freind doesnt like her, if she was a true freind she wouldent have gone swimming at all and gone home with your daughter. girls can be so meann!

  42. way2much Says:

    How many times do we as moms have to bite back our tongue. It is so hard.
    My daughter experienced things of that nature a lot at school, but never at home. She is 11 and is now learning to distinguish between true friends and other friends.
    It takes a strong character to stand up to those individuals. Or to just hold their heads high and ignore the remarks and attitudes of others.
    But it just hurts inside and that breaks my heart. I honestly don’t recall any of the things my daughter is going through. I live in area where I did not grow up – not sure if it the community or the difference in generations. But the girls can be nasty here.

  43. way2much Says:

    I am glad I could help. I see you stopped putting your link up – that is a good idea – it isn’t needed to leave a comment!

  44. Celeste Says:

    Well I didn’t get to start shaving my legs and waxing my eyebrows till i was 14 years old and I hated my mom for doing that to me because i was embarressed at school because when i waskid i had dark hairy unibrow. i also had hairy legs.i would tell my mom that i was getting embarresed but she still wouldn’t let.Still getting embaressed i just ried to do them myself but i ended up messing them up.when it was time to wax my eyebrows at 14 teen all my mom did was wax the middle and just where hair wasn’t supposed to be. My eyebrows looked thick! i asked her if I could get them thinner but she still said no. I think only girls should get their eye brows waxed if they have thick eye brows like if their 9 or 10 just do the middle. Since i have a little sister the same problem went on with her so my mom learned she made a mistake with me so she let her do the middle so she wouldn’t have a unibrow.

  45. way2much Says:

    Celeste, we all learn from our mistakes. Lucky for your sister that your mom learns with you. My older sister always complained that she had to pave the way for me! And that I got away with a lot more than she did.
    Woman don’t get a rule book when they become moms! We learn from things our own parents did or did not do. Some things I swear I would never do and others I vow to imitate. Whatever my parents did, no matter how much I moan and groan about them, they did something right. My brother, sister and I turned out all right! At least – for the most part I think we did! 🙂

  46. Larry Says:

    hell no leave her alone-ever girl is starting to look like a plastic mannequinn doll or a girl with red sores from some sort of hair removal-WE ARE SUPPOSE to have hair-a LITTLE trimming is ok but geezelouise-LET IT GROW

  47. way2much Says:

    Larry, I agree to some point. We are all becoming clones and trying to look like the “stars” on TV. Our true role models should be our own parents or someone close to us – personally – such as a teacher or neighbor or another relative if not our own parents.

    You are a male person and it is nice to see a comment from your perspective – however, do you have a young daughter going through this emotional time in her life? If I didn’t have a child and see the daily taunts that she experiences I would be pooh-poohing this whole debate away. It seems so simple but really there is no simple solution.
    I just keep stressing be true to yourself and people will come to accept you and like you the way you are. It took 4 years, but my daughter is finally establishing TRUE friendships – and she is only 11 – she learned this a bit early in life I think.

  48. way2much Says:

    BTW – thank you for your comment – we appreciate it.

  49. suzie Says:

    thats true everyone is staritng to look alike which is pretty sad. like in my school everyone wears almost the same thing and the same makeup and the same hiar and the same shoes and then same like everyhting! no oone has there own style anymore. but anyways if larry was a girl with hair then he would understand the embarrsing situation we have to got thorugh!

  50. way2much Says:

    Welcome back Suzie,
    Anything new to report?
    I would like to hear a bit more from Larry – such as when he thinks girls should start grooming themselves.
    I look at my daughter and she seems so much older than she is. Not in looks as much in how she handles herself. She is such a little lady, quite polite too. And I compare her to other girls just a year younger and I try to think if she was that immature just 12 months ago, but I find myself answering NO. So it goes to prove that some girls may be more ready than others, no matter how old they are in “years”. Each mom, I hope, knows their daughter’s maturity level and can make a decision based on that. But then again, some moms are in denial about how much their little girls are growing up.

    I may seem to contradict myself here, but I want to explain that my daughter is not mature in the “worldly” or “materialistic” sense. She is naive in many ways – thank God. But what I mean by maturity, is the ability NOT to whine, nag and tattle, etc. She doesn’t play with dolls or have a security item to sleep with. I’m not sure if that makes sense, but that is what I mean by mature.

  51. suzie Says:

    no nothing new to report im gonna ask ym mom about it on sunday! wish me luck!! and i do understand what you mean by mature. like she doesnt act like a little kidd ahh i cant really explain it but i understand what you mean! alot of moms are in denial about their kids growing up. wwell mine is anyways so thats why she thinks im to young to wax//tweezee. ughh its so annyoing!

  52. Lizzie Says:

    Hey, I’m Lizzie and I’m 16. I’ll be 17 on July 21. I don’t pluck or wax my eyebrows and the kids at school have made fun of me since 6th grade so I’ve shaved in between them since then and the beginning of them. My mom finally noticed about a month ago after all these years and she said that she will make an appointment to get them waxed but she hasn’t yet because I haven’t told her to yet. I’m afraid to. I’m afraid the salon person will make fun of me for shaving them. My eyebrows are so bad and they make me feel so bad about myself. I always hide my face with my hair to hide my eyebrows. I just want them gone but I can’t because I won’t stop shaving tehm because I”m embarrassed about the hair that grows back. It seriously makes me want to die

  53. suzie Says:

    i know how you feel. i wish i didnt have any eyebrows then have the my bushy eyebrows! people can be so cruel. i got bangs just so i can hide my eyebrows. well i think you should get them waxed and the person at the salon wont make fun of you because your there customer.its better to have them waxed and then just tweeze them after that. you feel feel better about yourself after you get them waxed!

  54. Lizzie Says:

    I know I will but I don’t know how to go about doing it. I don’t want to bring it up to my mom because she would make a big deal out of it and tell everyone like she did before. I am embarrassed and I would rather other people not know but she went and told my grandma,boyfriend, brother, and dad. I want to just call a salon and ask them if they accept walk ins and tell them about my eyebrows then if it’s Ok I want to have my boyfriend take me there and have them done then tell my mom afterwards. But I dont know what to expect. How much will it cost? How much will it hurt? How should I go about doing this?

  55. melanie Says:

    Lizzie, I have the same problem as you. I have been shaving the middle of my eyebrows so I do not get a unibrow. I turned 16 about 5 months ago. I am afraid to ask my mom to get my eyebrows waxed because I know she will probably say no and ask for reasons why I really need it done. Any help on what I could tell my mom so she will let me get my eyebrows waxed?

  56. suzie Says:

    same proablem as you. i know if i ask my mom she will prpoablaly say no. there nothings we can do to change that. if you do feel insucure about your eyebrows then you should tell her that and maybe she will by some chance understand what you are going through. i wish my mom could understadn but she doesnt, maybe your mom will.

    well i think you should have your boyfreind take you to a salon or make an appointemtn. but i dont know if you need to have an adult with you to be able to get your eyerborws done? and yes it will hurt but remeber beauty is pain. it cost like 10-15$$. call a salon and ask them. i think you should just go do it secretly becuase your mom did say you can get them done right? so theres no reason why you shouldent.

  57. melanie Says:

    i am going on vacation in a few days and I really want to get my eyebrows done before I go. What should I tell my mom so she will let me get them done without yelling at me?

  58. suzie Says:

    im sorry i dont really know what to tell her. tell her why you want to get them done, tell her it will make you feel better about yourself. maybe that way she might understand why you want to get them done. im asking my mom today to get mine done hopfeully if i dont chicken out. good luck! tell me how it goes

  59. suzie Says:

    tell her if she really loves you she will let you get them done!

  60. suzie Says:

    which i think is true if she loves you shell want u 2 b happy and this makes u happy so she should let u do it!! ugghh i cant ask my mom im wayy to scared. i hate it when shes gets mad at me and if i ask her she will get mad at me and i dont want that!

  61. way2much Says:

    I don’t know how serious to take your comments here. So, I will assume you are serious and on the up and up.
    With that said, I want you to know that as a mother, I think your mom will abide by your wishes. She is just excited that you are growing up and is sharing her experience in that with others. She will tell her mom, because, naturally she went through it with her and she may need the support of her mother – your grandmother. Her little girl is growing up! As far as telling your dad, she will do that as well – don’t you tell your boyfriend – almost everything? Your dad is your mom’s boyfriend – I know – yuck – you don’t want to think of it that way, but if they have a healthy relationship, they will confide in each other. Now, if it makes you uncomfortable they should keep it between themselves and not announce it out loud and make you feel uneasy. As far as your boyfriend knowing, if you plan to take him to the salon – or rather he take you, then there is no problem that she told him!

    All that aside, take your mom up on her offer to take you to the salon. Do not shave – waxing is so much better. It will last longer and it only takes but a few moments. The wax shouldn’t be too hot and the tear is like a band-aid being ripped off your skin as well. They will tweeze any remaining stubborn hair that refuse to come off.
    It should only cost $7- 10 for the removal and you should tip them 15-20% or another $1-2.
    Most salons accept walk-ins and I do not think they will question you about age or anything. But I am not 100% sure on that. If they are professionals, they will not make fun of you. They may suggest you wax everything else on your body, but that is about all. They are salespeople – after all. So they will try to talk you into your lip, arms, etc. Just hold your ground – there is no need to do that, explain you are just there for your eyes and end it at that.
    I don’t think your mom will have a problem, just explain to her that you wish to keep this low key and ask that she respects your wishes. Good luck and BTW – to be taken seriously – if I were you I would change my email address. (just a friendly tip.)

  62. suzie Says:

    good advice!

  63. way2much Says:

    I was thinking this over. You seem to be an at age that is responsible for grooming oneself.
    Your problem lies with talking with your mom about your feelings. Since you are already shaving your eyebrows, waxing would be a step better. (see my comment above.)
    If talking it over with your mom may lead to an argument, perhaps you can better form your case in writing. Leave a note for her explaining why you want your eyebrows waxed.
    Take this advice from me, whether or not I am a mother – I appreciate reasons why a person wants to do something. I don’t give in easily, to my children, to peer pressure or any other form of nagging! Give me a clear-cut reason why you want to do something. Hearing, “because” is irritating. Think about it, do you want that as an answer?
    Other answers that are just as irritating are “other girls are doing it, why can’t I?” “I just want to that is all” and “I don’t know”!
    Form your opinion and back up your desire with intelligent reasons for your discussion/writing. This goes for anything you may approach your parents with. Show you are responsible and intelligent enough to form your own opinions and you will be respected.
    Letter writing is a good option because you will not be interrupted or flustered with emotions to get all your feelings and reasons out on the table.
    I wish you a lot of luck discussing this sensitive issue with your mother.
    Always remember, beauty is found within, if your personality radiates it will outshine anyone in the room. What is beautiful to one person can be beastly to another – so do not conform to what you think others find attractive – do what is true to your heart.
    Good luck

  64. suzie Says:

    do you know why your mom doesnt let you wax your eyerobws melanie and lizzie? like my mom is worried becuase im to young and how my hair will get to thick if i start to wAX. but i think life is to short to be worried about the affects of waxing//grooming.

  65. Kiran Says:

    I last wrote in May, please read no.10.
    Well done, in getting this topic out in the open. My 11 yr old daughter is very happy with herself now, except her upper lip but she said “I am getting used to it and it doesn’t bother me that much but would like to do something about it before I go to high school” (I might immac it or get it threaded).
    But, I have had to go through a new problem recently. My brother-in-law recently started to pick on my daughter about her hairy arms and I quote his words “look at your arms, they are so hairy? You look like a ware wolf? Look, it’s a full moon and you are going to turn into a ware wolf” these horrible words were said in front of me, at a religious ceremony. I looked at him and tried to get his eye attention as to not to say it, as I did not want to make a scene in front of everyone, but he just carried on. I looked at my daughter and she pulled her scarf over her arms and sank back into her chair. My brother-in-law called her couple of times and she turned her head away from him and ignored him. I could see the tears in her eyes.
    When we got home, I sat her down and told her what I had seen and if she wanted to talk about it, and she became very tearful. She said “why is he being horrible, my two older brothers never say that to me?” I told her that some adults never grow-up, and some men think it’s funny, as they don’t have to go through what some of us girls have to go through. I told her that her Uncle was wrong and that I will have a private word with him. She agreed. I also told her that in future she must learn to stick up for herself, as I will not always be there to defend her. I told her that if someone says something that hurt her feelings, she must tell them and use the school bullying technique, which is
    ‘STOP, I don’t like it’, and if a person still persists and say ‘STOP, I don’t like it, if you carry on then I will tell an adult’ I felt very guilty, and my husband was furious that I had not said anything.
    I noticed later that she would avoid wearing short sleeves, even in this hot weather. So we both came to a decision. I told her that the last resort should be waxing or creaming her hairs on her arm, and decided to bleach it instead (Jolen crème bleach, which lightens excess dark hair). I told her never to use it on her face (as I used to and eventually years later the hairs on my chin started to grow longer). We bleached her arms, and for the first time in five years, I could see the skin on her arms again. She loves it, the hair on arms is now lighter and golden, but can only be noticed in the sunlight. I bleach her arms every 6 weeks.
    WARNING, if any young girls want to bleach, please do not use bleach on bikini area or legs and try and avoid the face, as it will be noticeable. This is a messy product and it MUST be done under the supervision of an adult as it contains Hydrogen Peroxide. A small test should be done first, as some people are allergic to it.
    I recently spoke to my brother-in-law about the situation. I also told him that his daughter will be reaching puberty soon and may too have these kind of teenage problems. He was apologetic and was glad that I had told him.
    I know what it was like and understand the Asian cultures and its strictness on removing hair, I am a Sikh and we are not allowed to remove hair, as it is sacred. I am not a practising Sikh but my parents are. I have been through it all and have come out of it and now going through it with my daughter. The answer to all questions is to talk to someone, I wish there was a forum like this in my day, but I survived and my daughter and I talk openly about everything.
    I will log onto this site once a week, if anyone needs any information, I will try and help.

  66. way2much Says:

    I was pleased to see your comment today.
    What you wrote will help a lot of people, perhaps even Suzie and her mom.
    My daughter is doing fine as of now.
    And yes, your brother-in-law was out of line and you handled the
    situation perfectly in my opinion. There is a time and a place for everything and you were a lady for how you handled it. You did not abandon your daughter – we try to shield and protect them and when we see them hurt it hurts us tenfold. It must have taken a lot of self control on your part to have just sat and watched. I give you my admiration and credit! Good for you.
    You stood up for your daughter and like you suspected your brother-in-law meant no harm but was just clue-less. You did him, your daughter and his daughter a tremendous service by speaking with him and not letting it go.
    Your daughter is very lucky to have you for her mom and you are lucky to have an open relationship with her. I wish you both the best of everything.
    Yes, please check in from time to time – your words of wisdom are very much appreciated.

    By the way, how is threading done and do you know how long it lasts?
    And I was thinking of laser hair removal but still too weary about that. Perhaps in 10 years time we will know more about the procedure and if there are any side effects to it.

    PS thanks for explaining the Sikh background regarding hair removal – I am ashamed to say, I don’t know much about other cultures or religions and that is why it is always good to hear from another mom. Thanks again.

  67. Kiran Says:

    Thank you for kind your comments.
    I have today for the first time, sat with my daughter and showed her this forum, and we read the comments together. She told me that she feels better reading this, as there are other young girls in the same situation as herself. I feel mothers and daughters should read this forum together.
    Society puts too much pressure on girls these days, if mothers are saying no to hair removal then please give them a good valid reason.
    Threading is fantastic for the eyebrows, upper lip and chin. I get this done once a fortnight, depending on my hair growth. I live in London and there are a lot of Asian beauticians who have learned this technique. I understand that some beautician salons are starting to provide this service.
    Threading was originally invented in India, and the beautician removes the hair with a special thread (which looks like a sewing thread). This is better and less painful than waxing.
    If you notice the upper lip sometimes looks green after using cream or waxing this is because cream & waxing removes the hair & a layer off the skin; whereas threading only removes the hair, which grows back thinner as it is removed from the root, even tiny small hairs and coarse hair can be removed.
    Eyebrows can be shaped beautifully (All Bollywood superstars from India use the Threading technique on their face). It is quite difficult to do yourself, but I have mastered the technique and I now do my upper lip. Eyebrows and chin have to be done by a beautician.
    I would recommend anyone doing their eyebrows first time to get it threaded and shaped, and you can keep up the shape by tweezers. Threading in London varies, but I pay £3.00 for my eyebrows, £3.00 for my upperlip.
    Laser hair removal is the best and is not painful. a colleague of mine has had it done, and the hair on her face has never grown back, but it is expensive. The disadvantage is that you have to grow all the hair on your face first, and the beautician then shaves the hair for it to grow again all one length. She had to go back for a couple of treatments, but her face is hairless and does not worry about hair removal. Yes, I agree that we do not know what side affects it may have in the future. But I would love to get it done, but I cannot walk around for six weeks with a stubble on my face, could you?

  68. suzie Says:

    guesss what? my mom is leeting me get my eyebrows done!! yay but she said i ahve to wait till im 16 to do my upperlip. but she said i can bleach it right now. i think that kinda sucks but its better than nothing. plus if i bleach my upper lip and cover it with powder // foundation you porably wont even notice it that much! but ya im soo happy! does doing your eybrows make a diffrence on your face? my freind said it did. but i wasnt sure. yay and todays my birthday to!

  69. suzie Says:

    but when i asked her to do it she said i was to young and once i get older my skin will sage since i started to wax so early. is that true? but anyways i told her that i fely ugly and how much people make fun 0f me. and then she said: “your not ugly you stupid. only stupid people care what others think about them and think there ugly.” i thoguht that was soo rude she had like no consderation for my feelings. she actallu statred to mock me. like she called my dad and told her what i said and she was actaully making fun of me. i didnt get that. becuase if i had a duaghter and she told me that she feels ugly id feel sad and upset. but i guess my mom didnt for sum reason. so then she asked my dad what we should do and he said let her do her eyeborws. and then she called her sister and she told my mom to let me do my eyeborws but not my upperlip. oh well. im still gla about my eyeborws! i didnt have to show her the site but i kinda wanted to but oh well she would proably have said it was stupid or sumthing. i wish i could ahve gotte my arms done to but i guess i can cope with them. this site has been a major help! thanks everone for their advice! oh and im musilim and its is againt my relgion to remvoe eybrows hair becuase it is scared jsut like the sikh. but that was so rude of your bother – in-law, gosh men are soo immature. threading is very painful thoguh! when i get older im getting laser hair removal!!! does anyone know what electronisis is??? sorry i dont even know what it is called so i cant really spell it but its some hair remvoal thing.

  70. Kiran Says:

    Hi Suzie
    It was nice of your mother to involve your father; a lot of Asian mothers would not do that. I have total respect for your mum, and I am glad that you feel happy. Your friend is right; your eyebrows will be noticeable. But if you get it threaded by a beautician she can make it look natural. If not, just ask an adult who already plucks their eyebrows to pluck it from the middle and a little bit off the side, don’t make it look thin, and keep it looking natural.
    As for your upper lip and using bleach, please get an adult to make the formulae, as it can be dangerous if you get it wrong.
    I have had electrolyses done on my chin and upper lip and it hurts like hell, it is expensive and you have to have many treatments before the hair growth stops and even then you have to have certain treatments throughout the years. I gave it up as it was too painful. Electrolysis is a fine needle that is inserted into an individual hair growth and then a small electric current is sent through the needle, which destroys the hair growth. The volt of the current gets higher on every session.
    I know what you are going through and yes it is hard growing-up and also having to deal with hair problems and trying to explain it to strict parents who are trying to abide by the laws of their religion. You have done well, your parents love you, and do not want to see their daughter upset; you will grow into a fine adult as you have compromised with your parents. Well done.

  71. suzie Says:

    im happy they will be noticable and make a change on my face. im porably gunna get them threaded. i just hope they dont mess them up!i want my eyebrows to have an arch to them and i just dont hope that the people that do them will make it to high or to low. does bleach make the hair blend in to the skin very well? thats what i hope for it to do, like im tan so i dont know if it will still show up or not. but about Electrolysis, why didnt you just get laser hair removal? Electrolysis sounds very extremly painful!! ouch!! well did it work for you? becuase my aunt told me that her upper lip hair got very thick because she started to do it at my age, so it got thick so she told me she had to go thorugh years of Electrolysis. and thank you i hope i grow you to be a fine adult too!

  72. suzie Says:

    if you get your eyebrows threaded how long is it before you see the hair come back out?

  73. Lizzie Says:

    way2much –
    My comment was serious so I don’t really get why you wouldn’t take it seriously. About my email address, I use that one for things like this so if people I know stumble upon this site, they will not know it’s me. It isn’t my actual email address. It’s just for public forums and the like. Onto my eyebrows, My dad is verbally abusive and makes fun of my sister and me all the time and that’s why I didn’t want him to know. I do tell my boyfriend almost everything, but I would rather her not say anything so I can tell him. Plus he doesn’t know I shave my eyebrows. I want to take my mom up on her offer, but I don’t know how to bring it back up. Before I found this forum, she had been asking me when I wanted to go about once a week but then she just kinda stopped about 2 1/2 weeks ago. The next time she asks I will tell her I want to. But what if she never asks? I just don’t know how to bring it up. Thanks for your advice

  74. Kiran Says:

    Hi Suzie,
    Bleach on the face is only noticeable in bright light especially around the upper lip, but when the bleach starts to fade it becomes noticeable. Depending on your skin tone it can blend in, do a small patch test on your arm, and see how it goes for a week; but if you are not allowed to have it removed than bleach is the second best thing. You can always get it removed when you have reached adulthood.
    I think you should take baby steps into getting your eyebrows done. Don’t think about having an arch done yet, as you will look too grown up; just get the middle threaded or waxed, and have the eyebrows trimmed and neatened up. Remember, you can always get it done again, so don’t get so much removed. Ask the beautician that you would like a natural look on your eyebrows and do not want a lot removed.
    Electrolysis did not work for me.
    The growth of hair after threading depends on how fast your hair grows. My hair grows fast, so I go every other week. I noticed that during my period the hair growth is fast, which is normal due to hormone changes.
    Remember this is your face, and you should try and look as natural as possible for your age.
    I hope this helps.

  75. Kiran Says:

    Hi Lizzie,
    It seams like you are having a hard time. You must try and speak to your mother about the verbal abuse, that is more important.
    Are you getting abused about the hair or something else?
    I don’t know who told you to shave your eyebrows, but you must grow them back, and have it shaped and trimmed properly, or your hair growth will get thicker. Shaving your eyebrows also causes the hair folicle to split, that means you will be growing two hairs out of a single hair folicle. You seem like a nice girl, so talk to your mother.

  76. Lizzie Says:

    Kiran –
    She already knows about the abuse. He does the same thing to her. Everyone in my family is used to it, but it still hurts. He just picks on every little thing he can find wrong to pick about. He’s an alcoholic and he’s just always been this way.

    I originally didn’t want to shave them. When I was in 6th grade I was at a friend’s sleepover and we were gonna put shaving cream all over the person that fell asleep first. I was the 3rd person to fall asleep butthey still got me and shaved my eyebrows while I was sleeping. It wasn’t by choice, trust me. But ever since then I’ve been really self conscious of my eyebrows and face in general actually and I’ve just kept shaving them to people from making fun of me because they did when I came back to school that Monday with my eyebrows like that all bushy and only grown back a little bit. I know I need to talk to her I just don’t know how.

    Thank you.

  77. way2much Says:

    I am sorry if I offended you. I take your comments seriously but your email address seemed a little bit provocative. I am the only one who sees the email address and I do not abuse it or try to contact through that email. I try to do everything out in the open.

    That is smart to use a different email address for forums like this – good thinking.

    Kiran is very wise with her advice and I am glad she is here to help.

    Now I must agree that the verbal abuse is not to be taken lightly. Does your mom know how much it hurts you? You mention a brother but only say your father abuses you and your sister. Does he address any abuse towards your brother? Is there anyone who could help your father? Alcoholism is a disease and you may be able to find help and support through Al-Anon. Here is the website for an online forum.
    cut and paste into your search bar. If you scroll down a bit there is a section for help in finding a meeting in your area. This is a good program since the alcoholic does not need to be involved – it is support for their friends and family.

    Now to address your hair issue and how to bring it with your mom. You will need to find a good time to approach her. Tell her that you were thinking about her offering to take you to a salon and that you may be interested in doing so. Make sure to tell her that you wish this to stay between the two of you and that you do not want anyone else knowing. If and when you want to let anyone know, you would like to be the one to say something. If you handle yourself in a mature calm way, I think your mom will abide by your wishes.
    Keep us posted on how things go and please feel free to come back and talk about anything whether it is regarding your hair, or any form of abuse. You found people who care here and we definitely don’t want to see you hurt.

    I hope I helped.
    Elaine (aka Way2Much)

  78. way2much Says:

    Suzie, what a wonderful Birthday present.
    And Happy Birthday to you!
    As I mentioned above, I am glad Kiran found this site and was able to help you girls here.
    I agree – cleaning or shaping one’s eyebrows makes a big difference on one’s face. You will feel like a new person! I also agree that you just need to clean up the brow and not thin it out or create an arch. The technician should know exactly what to do if you ask for a clean look.
    Try the bleaching – Kat had mentioned that once. I had a roommate in college that bleached her hair on her lip. I never knew she had hair until I walked in on her bleaching it – so yes it works great as well. (And she was dark skinned.) So, just do that patch test on your arm like Kiran suggested and remember to have adult supervision. Chemicals can burn and that is exactly what you would be using.
    Good luck and let us know when you go and what you thought about the whole process and how you feel when it is done!
    We can’t wait to hear!
    Congratulations 🙂

  79. Lizzie Says:

    Elaine –

    You didn’t offend me, I was just curious as to why you were questioning whether I was serious or not.

    My dad does pick on my brother too but it’s mostly just me and my sister. Yes my mom knows how much it hurts. It hurts her too. I’m sure there are plenty of people that could help him but he doesn’t want help.

    I’ve always had a hard time telling my mom stuff like this and I’m scared. I know she’s gonna make a big deal out of it and I don’t want that at all. That’s why I’m so afraid of telling her. I hid the fact that I started my period from her for 2 years because I knew she would blow it way out of porportion. I just don’t know when or how to do this. I don’t want to bring it up before she goesto work because I don’t want to stress her out because her job does that enough the way it is, and also she is very close with her coworker and I am afraid she will tell her about it to. I can’t tell her after she gets home from work because my dad is always home then if he even went to work that day. And like I said I really don’t want my dad knowing because I know he would make fun of me. There isn’t any time to bring it up. I guess Ill just wait it out. I just hope she asks again before my senior pictures because I want to look beautiful in them and I would look better with nice eyebrows.

    Thanks for the help

  80. suzie Says:

    i know how hard it is to talk to your mom. i have diffuclty talking to mine but whenever i sked her about her eyebrows i just blurted it out. i think you should just ask her infront of your dad becuase even if he does make fun of you it doesnt matter becuase wouldent you have him make fun of you and then the next day go get your eyebrows done and look pretty?? i would! just ask her and so what if she makes a big deal about it? atleast she is letting you get them done so you will look pretty! maybe the reason she stopped asking you to go to the salon is becuase you didnt tell you her u wanted to and then she stooopeed asking you. so just tell her. the worst that will happen is that shell tell everyone about it and everyone will talk about it for a few days and after a week no one will be talking about it and you will fianlly have your eyebrows done and look greaT!

    thanks! yes i agree i should amke it look natural and then later on i can get it arched or thinner or whatever. i rather not take to much off than take alot off and have it look bad! yes and my mom is going to bleach it for me. she told me that i cant tweeze inbetween salon sessions. and if i do need to tweeze inbetween salon sessions she will do it for me and i cant do it by myself. which kinda confused me becuase i think it will be easier if i get it waxed and then after that i just tweeze like every other day. but i dont think she wants me to tweeze becuase it will make my skin sage when i get older, she says.

  81. Lizzie Says:

    suzie –

    I am not going to ask her in front of my dad. Im sorry but I don’t enjoy getting made fun of and picked on everyday and if he heard me ask then he would just do it more and have a reason to.

  82. Sezgi Says:

    I’m muslim too, and I am 12 years old. I have olive skin, and very dark brown hair. I plucked my eyebrows just a few months ago, but I have a little bit of a mustache and my mom says that I can bleach it with jolen if I want to. I read above that it isn’t good to bleach it, so I kind of want to wax it because I get really self concious. I cover my mouth (subtly) when I am close to people because I feel like people are looking at it, and people at my school obviously notice it since a few people have mentioned it. No one makes fun of me, but a boy that was in my class this year got made fun of for having a mustache, so if a boy is being made fun of, then it really makes me wonder what they could be saying about me. I just don’t know if I’m ready to wax it though, because I don’t know about maintenance and all that. I’m going into grade 8 soon and I don’t want to go into high school like this, so I’m not sure when I should wax. Any suggestions?

  83. suzie Says:

    i know where your coming from f you read my comments above. well i think you are ready to wax ! i think you should then you wont be self concious anymore, will your mo let you wax it? welll try to bleach it and see if it hides the hairs, if it doesnt wax it!
    okay but im just saying after you ask your mom your eyeborws will look good so your dad wont be able to pick on you after that.

  84. Lizzie Says:

    suzie –

    He will still pick on me for shaving them.

  85. Kiran Says:

    Hi Sezgi,
    I know a lot of girls/women who bleach their moustache, and they are ok with it, especially if you have fair skin, as it does not show up. But the problems Asian skin has that it will be noticeable in the long run. But by that time you will be old enough to have it removed.
    Waxing the moustache at your age is too harsh. Take baby steps; bleach a small part of your arm and see how you feel. Give it a week or two and put your arm in the sunlight. This will give you a better idea.
    I had a moustache and was not allowed to remove it until I was 15. I creamed it off with Veet.
    But remember girls whatever you do, the hair will grow back; and depending on your genes, hair re-growth is different from women to women.
    From the age of 15 – 30 I used Veet. I started off creaming my moustache every other week, as years went by it became once a week and then twice a week. Until I discovered threading. My hair growth is fast, so I get my moustache threaded once a month and use Veet in between and now I thread it myself.
    I also had hair around on my neck and side burns, so started bleaching it, and I wish I had not, as the hair became longer, I now unfortunately have to have it threaded or waxed. So take it from me girls, don’t over do it with the Veet, just do the moustache.
    My mother has no facial hair, and her diagnosis was, drink plenty of water and eat natural and healthy food; even though she was hairy as a child, she never did anything about it and by the time she was any adult, it disappeared. But us girls cannot wait until then. Remember waxing, creaming will give you a quick boost for several years, but later on it will become a challenge as your body changes and may make the hair on your face even more prominent. I am not scaring any girls, but try and accept your facial hair as long as you can.
    Another fact is that some girls have access hair over and above the average, and this could be due to period and hormone problems.
    The hair on my face started growing and I was told that I had mild endometriosis, which is an infection of the pelvic area, see your Doctor to see if there are any underlying causes.
    I do not know if the long hair growth was due to bleach or my medical condition. So see your Doctor if you are worried about too much access hair on neck and chin (this does not include the moustache).

  86. Sezgi Says:

    Thanks for your input!

  87. Lizzie Says:

    I kinda talked to my mom. Earlier this morning I was really down about my looks. I hate my lips, theyre too thin, and I hate my eyebrows. I think I’m overweight too and I was just really depressed this morning about my weight. My mom came here and talked to me for almost 2hrs about how beautiful I am and stuff. I told her I hate my lips ansd I hate my eyebrows and she said that she will schedule me an appointment for my hair and eyebrows soon!!!!! I can’t wait but at the same time I’m still kinda scared because I don’t know if she’ll keep to her word this time or not and what happens.

  88. suzie Says:

    so bleaching it might make hair longer?? (mustache hair). that is exactly what my mom told me, about waxing is to hrash for our age & that i should accept is for a long as i can and when i get older i can do whatever i want. i drink like 8 glasses of water a day! hopefully that will help!
    im so happy for you! if your mom does forget remind her in about a week. or ask her : when is my apponointment mom? or something

  89. alijha Says:

    well, all i have to say is let the kid do what she wants to her body hair! its not like she is wearing mini skirts, or half shirts out or anything. its just hair, and you probably wont even notice, but young girls are very self concious, and that little zit right next to the hairling above her ear that nobody notices is the most devastating thing in the whole world to her. i dont think shaving, or wazing at 10 or 11 years old is very bad…… i dont see what the prblem is! whats it going to hurt? nothing. it will just give them more self confidence. as long as she isnt doing naughty things with guys, or wearing makeup to attract older men, then i do see what the problem is.

  90. alijha Says:

    hairline. sorry typo

  91. alijha Says:

    and dont . haha

  92. suzie Says:

    well i got my eyebrows threaded!! its hurt like REALLYY bad!! my eyeborws look natural and i love them!!! i bleached my upperlip and the it is mostly not vislbe!! im so happy!
    you are right! u should let them do whatever they want!

  93. way2much Says:

    I appreciate your comment. However, as a mother of an 11 year old, I worry about the social stigmas that society is placing on the very young girls. You are right – what is the big deal. But where do we draw the line? Some of these girls that start with hair removal move on quickly to the other things you mention.

    I am glad to hear that you love your look and that you are happy! How long did it take for them to do the threading? Sorry to hear that it hurt. Have you tried tweezers? Is it that type of pain or different?

  94. suzie Says:

    thanks!! hmm well i think it would take 10 mintues or less if you already ahve you eyeborws done. but it took me longer becuase i had to get them shaped and stuff. no it is not that sorta pain. it hurts more than that! it feels like the a pice of string rubbing aginst your skin really hard! and it leaves your eyeborw area red for a day and i got zits!! but thats okay i dont really care! hmm but iv heard it hurts less than waxing. but i dont know i think it hurt me more because my hair was long. but i think waxing wouldent hurt as much becuase you get it over with in less than a minute but with threading you ahve to sit there for like 10 minutes and bear the pain! but its not so much pain to make you cry or anything, it just mad my eyes water!

  95. Kiran Says:

    Hi Suzie
    I’m glad you are happy with your eyebrows. Yes it does hurt, first time, but it it less painful than waxing; but threading gives the eyebrows a fantastic natural look, and you cannot get a beautifully shaped eyebrow with tweezers or waxing. The pain will get less as you get used to it.

  96. Lizzie Says:

    I NEED HELP!!! My mom asked me if I wanted her to make us appointments for our eyebrows today or tomorrow. I told her I would think about it then call her at work. I want to have them done but I’m scared again. Will the girl at the salon laugh at me or make fun of me or call me stupid? I’m so afraid that ashe will for shaving them. Ugh I’m gonna cry just thinking about it

  97. Elaine/way2much Says:

    Take a deep breathe and relax and then call your mom and say “Yes, call for the appointment!”

    Stop worrying about what other people will say and think about you. Once you do that, a powerful weight will be lifted from your shoulders and you will feel better.

    The lady will not make fun of you or laugh at you or most definitely NOT call you stupid. A lot of people shave their eyebrows (my mom used to do this years ago – and it was acceptable then – not that it isn’t now – but it was more common.) They didn’t have waxing or threading available years ago.

    If they laugh, so what. All the salon workers in my area are Oriental – they speak another language – they may be talking about me or they may be just having a side conversation – who knows and I don’t let it get to me. I know I am hairy, that is why you are removing my hair! That is why I am here! So, let them talk, at least you are doing something about it and that your mother is beside you, supporting you. Waxing will last a lot longer than shaving and you wouldn’t have to deal with the stubble growing back.

    Think of all the pros and all the cons about going. I am sure the pros will outweigh the cons at least 2 to 1.

    I wish you a lot of luck. I say go for it. This is a perfect mother/daughter outing and like Suzie you will come home thrilled that you did it!

    Let us know how it works out – this is my advice – take it or leave it. But I think you have nothing to worry about. They will be professional! Good Luck! 🙂

  98. Lizzie Says:

    She’s made the appointment for 3:30 this afternoon. I’m excited and happy because my eyebrows are ruining my entire face, but I’m also scared. Also my grandma will be there and she will make a big deal out of it so I don’t want her to be there but they’ve already made plans. I am nervous about my mom being next to me because I know she will think I’m dumb or something for shaving them. I’m just so self conscious all the time ugh. Now I”m freaking out because what if she can’t wax them because they haven’t grown back enough? I just want them fixed as much as possible RIGHT NOW then the rest as it comes time. This is stressing me out way more than it should.

  99. Elaine Says:

    Lizzie, you are right, you are stressing too much, but it is understandable – it is normal.
    I am sure your eyebrows are fine to wax. They will tweeze away any left-over hairs that didn’t get on the cloth. NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW YOU SHAVED THEM UNLESS YOU TELL THEM. I see why you may have some anxiety now that is has become a family affair, but afterwards celebrate!
    Not sure how your salon does it, but I need to go in a small room, lie on a table, and the technician works her “magic”. There may be no room for mom or grandma hovering over. They may have to wait in the sitting area.
    Before you know it, this will be over and you will be so happy. Good Luck again – I am truly happy for you – all you have to do is breahe in and breathe out! Relax and enjoy being pampered.

  100. Lizzie Says:

    I heard that if you are on your period when you’re being waxed you should take some Tylenol or something so the pain won’t be as bad. Is that true? I’m all ready to go except I need to dry my hair and eat lunch. Should I take some Tylenol since I am on my period?

  101. Elaine Says:

    Lizzie, I never heard that. I am not much of a pill popper, but I take Excedrin for my migraines and I take Pamprin for my period if I am feeling particularly bad. I don’t think taking Tylenol would do much harm, but honestly, I don’t think it will do any good either. There isn’t much pain – think band-aid being ripped off skin real fast – that is it. Some tenderness at the area but not much at all. Don’t know what having your period has to do with it at all – sorry I couldn’t be more helpful – try not to worry.

  102. tri Says:

    hi everyone, I am a pre-soph in high school who is almost 15 years old, and I have a very noticeable upper lip issue. I am very comfortable with the rest of me, and my mother says she doesn’t mind getting it waxed.
    My concern is that everyone will laugh at me or talk behind my back once I go back to school! I also don’t know how long one session of waxing would last. I have tanned skin and dark hair – would bleaching work for me?

  103. Elaine Says:

    Hi Tri,
    I have tanned skin and dark hair as well – I never bleached but Kat has – see her above comment #12 and comment #27. Kiran might have commented about bleaching as well.

    I never did – if your mom is OK with the waxing – I say that is the better option. The session itself should only take 5 minutes. That is all. They put some powder on to absorb any oils or moisture your skin may have. They then apply the wax with something that looks like a popsicle stick. They do one side at a time. They then apply the cloth, press down and pull off. They will then apply a cream afterward. They may pluck off any hairs that refused to come off with the cloth. It shouldn’t take more than 10-15 minutes total, but could last as little as 5. Depending on the individual you will need to touch up every 2-4 weeks depending on hair growth. I have a lot of hair with fast growth, but I do it every 4-5 weeks. I don’t fret over one or two pieces that show up – I just take my tweezers and pluck in between visits.
    Good luck and have fun.
    No one should make fun of you when you get to school – it will be a subtle difference. You will notice the difference and feel good about it, but your friends and peers will see a clean look but not know what it is – especially if they haven’t seen you all summer. Would you rather have them comment that you are grooming yourself or that you aren’t?! I say go for it – and let us know what you decide and how it works out

  104. Lizzie Says:

    I just got back. It didn’t hurt at all, actually, it felt kinda good. The lady didn’t laugh at me. They look Ok. Not much different so I’m still depressed about them. She didn’t fix the part I shaved or the in between them so I guess I’ll still be shaving. Oh well.

  105. Elaine Says:

    Be more specific – please!
    Why didn’t they clean out the middle of your brow or where you shaved?
    Did they speak English?
    Did you do the talking or your mom?
    Did you say you wanted a waxing, clean them out or shaped them? What exactly did you ask for?
    DO NOT SHAVE AGAIN – please, you have your mom’s permission to do your eyebrows, if need be go back in a week or two and get it done again and if you weren’t specific today, you need to be more specific when you go again. This is something you need to keep up with, so don’t get discouraged. Invest in a pair of good tweezers – you could get at any pharmaceutical store – and set aside a few minutes before or after you shower to clean any hairs that grow. It will pinch a bit but it will be worth it.
    Don’t be depressed – you overcame one obstacle – your first visit – so congratulations. Be happy and look forward to your next one!

  106. kayla Says:

    well some people start there period at 7 and others like me start at 16, ive been date’n guys sence 5th grade. infact ive been with some1 sence 5th grade and im STEAL with hem ^.^im 18 now and ive never got into a fight with hem,ever!

  107. Lizzie Says:

    What does when you start your period have to do with anything? The age is quite irrevelant, and it is highly unrealistic that you’ve been with someone since fifth grade and you’re now eighteen, yet alone never fighting.

  108. Malie Says:

    As an involved mother, having a 13 almost 14 year old daughter, I know how important cleanliness and being “hair free” is to her. If you think about it, you don’t want your daughter to be constantly worring about that one hair above her lip or “I hope no one looks at my legs!” They worry about that and worry less about other more important things. If your daughter asks you if she can remover hair, it means she has thought about it and really wants this chance, if not, why would she ask? I’d say 10 is not too young to remove leg hair, althought I would start her off with a cream remover, like “Nair” or “Veet”. As for upper lip hair, again “nair” will do just fine. The most important to most growing girls is the pubic hair. If they are uncomfortable about it, definitly let them deal with it! Shaving is about the only one that works the best. I wouldn’t let her do the whole thing, just the part that shows in her bathing suit/leotard. Let your daughter have the independance she wants, think about it, didn;t you want independance, to be in charge of yourself?

  109. suzie Says:

    omgsh lizzie will you just get tweezers and do them yourself?????

  110. Lizzie Says:

    Uh Suzie, no, I won’t. I have a muscle disease and I can’t hold the tweezers for that amount of time. You don’t have to be so mean though.

  111. suzie Says:

    im not being mean. im just getting fustrated you keep shaving them. shaving them makes it thicker and ;people can tell when your shaving them, well they can on your leges i dont know about eyebrows. just go get them waxed soemhwere else and maybe they will come out right

  112. Lizzie Says:

    Suzie, I don’t see why you’re getting frustrated because they aren’t your eyebrows and you donthave to see them because we don’t know each other in real life thank god.

    Everyone else, they are already growing back where she waxed them. What is wrong with me?

  113. tri Says:

    Lizzie –

    eyebrows will grow back very quickly, even when you wax them. But since you shaved them, the first couple times they might grow back much quicker than they eventually will…

  114. Elaine Says:

    I don’t think Suzie meant any harm. We all feel your frustration and we wish we could do more for you.
    When was the last time you had a complete physical with blood work and other tests? You say you have a muscle disease that prevents you from holding tweezers for a long period of time – is there anyone at home that perhaps can do it for you?
    The reason I ask about a doctor’s visit is because sometimes hormones or thyroid problems can effect the rate of hair growth. It may be something to look into. But honestly, since you shaved already, it makes sense that hairs will be growing back – they may be the hairs you shaved on your own, not the ones that were waxed.
    My advice is to keep going to the salon – if it is once a week, so be it. Keep at it to make yourself feel good – eventually it will all even out and you can limit your visits.
    Keep us posted.

  115. Elaine Says:

    Thanks for stopping by and giving us your view on things. I appreciate it. You are absolutely correct about the girls and if it is bothering them than it is time to take care of the problem. I found with my own daughter – at 8 – she was just asking because some of the girls were doing it already. My thoughts are “why are we worrying about this so young?” She was still watching Spongebob and other shows on Nickelodean – let her still be a kid and kids have hair – she was born with it all – it is nothing new to her. I blame society on a whole for influencing maturity in young kids. Because it really is a sense of false maturity -they are still babies at heart. Let them be. But middle school is a whole other world and they need to be ready for it.

  116. Elaine Says:

    Welcome back!
    Did you decide to get your upper lip done?
    Keep us posted here – thanks.

  117. Lizzie Says:

    No, it’s not the part that I shaved that’s already coming back. like I said, she didn’t even wax that part.

  118. Elaine Says:

    I do recall you said that, but still don’t worry. Listen to the other advice I gave you. If you have to do it once a week to make you feel good, than that is how often you need to go. The pharmacies also have home kits. I am not sure if that will save you money or if you would be able to use it yourself. I am not sure how your muscle disease effects your everyday living. I do understand how tedious it can be to hold tweezers for a steady period of time, but I am not sure about applying wax and removing it yourself. It may be something you could look into.
    But I just say be patient, after a few times at the salon, your hair regrowth will slow down.

  119. Lizzie Says:

    My family doesn’t have enough money for me to go weekly

  120. Elaine Says:

    Hang in there.

  121. suzie Says:

    yes lizzie i did not mean and harm and i shouldent have gotten fustrated. sorry . but nayways i wish you good luck on your sitatuion.

  122. John Says:

    Thank you all for your in put. I am a 40 yoa father: 19, 10,and 9 girls; 8 yoa son. What about segmented shaving, “only to the knees for now”. As the girl gets older, the razor/cream MIGHT be able to go higher (dependant upon her responsability). Could this not also be applied to the unibrow, mascarra, foundation, and other “girly war paint”

  123. Elaine Says:

    I agree, start out slow and gradually add to it.
    In my daughter’s case though, she needed to go all the way to the thigh with creaming off the hair. She has dark hair and a lot of it. So during the summer, she needed to take it all off – we tried the segmented way, but it looked terrible (silly).
    I think too much is stressed upon appearances and I think it is a shame. Starting out slow and adding on as the child matures is the best bet. When the time comes, I will let my daughter start with some make-up or as you put it “girly war paint”! but very minimum. She puts it on for dance recitals and such but she hates it! I don’t even do foundation for myself – just mascara and eyeliner. I don’t even put blush on (summer). Right now – I have not put on ANY make-up! My sister would consider me naked! My husband prefers me to wear no make-up – it really is just a matter of preference, no matter what we are talking about.
    Thanks for your in-put – was there a question for your own daughters? or were you just suggesting? Do you find your 9 year old is trying to (or actually is) be more mature than your 19 yo was at that age? She after all has 2 older sisters that sort of paved the way for her. You’re a young parent – just like me and my husband! Lots of luck with the 4 – my 2 drive me nuts! LOL

  124. Elaine Says:

    By the way –
    in the winter, my daughter will only do the parts of her leg that will show up for gym class! Whatever is under the shorts or sweats will not be touched until summer again!

  125. suzie Says:

    my mom let me wear makeup in the middle of 7th grade. but when you do let her wear makeup dont let her wear foundation of powder ! becuase kids dont even need that stuff!! lol and it make your skin look ulgy!!

  126. Lizzie Says:

    I’ve been wearing makeup since 6th grade and I’m now in 12th

  127. suzie Says:

    does bleach make your hair longer?? my mom said it does….

  128. Elaine Says:

    Regarding the question:
    does bleach make your hair longer?? my mom said it does….

    I personally have no idea – but I don’t believe it does – shaving makes it stronger and causes the hair to grow back quicker and fuller – perhaps appearing darker. I don’t think bleaching has any effect on the hair itself but may do something to the skin –
    anyone else have an answer to this?

  129. Tracie Says:

    I myself think 10 is way to young for a child to think about shaving or any other things to do with being a women. I think God hiself put his on time clock in us as females and we should teach children that all a part of being a women will come in due time and to be a child as long as time allows. I myself have a step-daughter.And her mother has took upon her self to shave her daughter legs who is still 9 and will not be 10 for another 2 months my husband( child father) and I were not happy when come she back to us with her legs shave we had thought that this would have been a decision that each of our household would be involved in. She had told us it was her decision and for us not to woory about “her” daughter. Praying for God way. Any advise

  130. Elaine Says:

    My heart goes out to you. That is always hard when there are two households trying to establish their own set of “rules”.
    I don’t have any information to go on – assuming the mom is responsible and not neglecting or abusing the children, I would tend to say she may be best to deal with the issues of her daughter.With that said, I do believe she should have had input from you and the father, being that you are involved in bringing the child up as well.

    I just got finished helping my 11 year old with the cream on her legs. No matter what at this age they still need our help and guidance. Your step daughter is lucky to have all you interested and involved in her life. I hope she knows she can come to you with advice or for help.
    Did the mom decide on her own, or was this something your step-daughter wanted? The more I read, the more I believe if the girls are desperately wanting the hair removed, remove it. I am contemplating laser hair removal for myself. I will test it out and if it works I will let my daughter do it. I would hate for her to continue shaving every day for the rest of her life. It is a lot of responsibility and frustration. I am constantly worried if I missed a spot or something while at the beach or just walking around in my shorts. There are too many things to worry about, hair shouldn’t be amongst them.

  131. Elaine Says:

    After re-reading, the comment {“her” daughter} struck me. I would suggest, if she is approachable, to have a discussion with her. Explain that you are not trying to take her place, she already has a mom, but she is very lucky to have you in her life as well. Try to reach out to the mother and say that you would like to be an influence in this child’s life and it is not in her best interest if mom and step-mom are at odds with one another. Dads are very important – VERY important in a little girls life as well. Moms should not have to be alone in raising their daughter. You and her dad are a couple and you will be there for her. Mom will too, but to a 9 year old getting conflicting advice is confusing and unsettling. She may eventually learn how to pit one against the other to her benefit. For her sake, the three of you need to work and talk things out when coming up with little milestones like this. Let her know that it is “dad’s” daughter as well, and dad does want a say!

    Good luck – I hope this helps.

  132. Sandy Says:

    It all depends on how hairy the legs are. My 9 yr old daughter has hairy legs and for the first time is embarrassed to wear shorts/skirts. I remember when I was her age, kids at school made fun at me because of my hairy legs/arms and they were really cruel. I was ridiculed constantly and because of that, I have no nice memory of my childhood. I told my daughter next yr when she is 10, we will go together and buy a nice electric razor. I know it’s too young to shave, but I don’t want her to go through what I did and we all know that kids are cruel. I want her to have good memories of school and not hurtful ones like I have.

  133. impudent strumpet Says:

    Hello, I found this through Google several months after the fact, but as someone who was once a hairy 10-year-old myself I feel compelled to throw in my own 2 cents for anyone else who finds this through Google.

    The late, venerable Ann Landers once said “If your daughter has something to shave, she’s old enough to be allowed to shave.” I cannot agree more.
    I was sentenced to be the only person, male or female, with hairy armpits at the Grade 5 pool party, because my parents thought 10 was too young to shave. I didn’t even know that hairy armpits were a normal part of puberty then, so I thought I was some freak of nature. I was an object of ridicule for years thereafter, and it took almost until adulthood for my self-esteem to recover.

    You look at your daughter and see a 10-year-old child. But she doesn’t see that – she’s always been a child. She looks in the mirror and sees her once-pretty face marred by a mustache and/or a unibrow. She looks at her classmates, and sees mostly hairless faces on the girls AND the boys. If you groom you facial hair, she looks at her mother and sees a hairless face. I don’t know your family configuration, but if she has any younger sisters who haven’t yet hit puberty or older sisters who already remove their facial hair, she feels the stigma of being the only woman in the family with a hairy face. She looks at her classmates, and, well, who know how cruel they might be. She feels like the only girl in the whole wide world with a hairy face! And then her mother, whom she knows possesses the information to save her from this stigma, is arbitrarily refusing to help her, because she’s only 10! When, in reality, the fact that she’s only 10 is making the stigma worse!

    In some areas of parenting, age works well as a guideline. However, when it comes to teaching your kids how to take care of their bodies, age is ridiculous and arbitrary – you have to base it on what their bodies are actually doing!

    If she started menstruating at age 10, you wouldn’t refuse to teach her how to use feminine hygiene products or make sure that she knows where babies come from. If her breasts started developing and her nipples became visible under white shirts, you wouldn’t hesitate to provide her with appropriate undergarments to protect her modesty. If she developed acne, you wouldn’t hesitate to teach her how to treat it properly. If she suddenly began producing strange-looking, smelly, or uncomfortable vaginal discharge, you wouldn’t hesitate to take her to a doctor, even though 10 is generally young for a pelvic exam. Despite the fact that she is only 10, she has this hair, she has expressed that it is bothering her, so it’s only fair and reasonable that she be allowed to remove it. Her age is irrelevant: the hair is already there. Whether or not it’s mainstream is irrelevant: most 10-year-olds don’t have unwanted hair yet, but your daughter does. Whether or not it would make her feel more self-conscious is irrelevant: she brought it up, so she’s clearly already aware of it and self-conscious about it. You now have the choice between forcing her to feel self-conscious for a few more years because you think she’s too young, or empowering her to feel beautiful again.

    As you said, she is only 10, she is a child, which is why it’s more important that YOU, as her mother, teach her how to remove her hair properly, in a safe and sanitary manner. The longer you put it off, the more it will hurt your daughter’s self-esteem, and the more likely she will be to attempt to do so in an unsafe and/or unsanitary manner.

  134. Elaine Says:

    IS –
    For some odd reason – this sounds like a B!tch slap – and that is OK. I appreciate your comment, so much so that I hope you do not mind but I am creating a new post using your comment.
    It deserves to stand out.
    I did decide it was time for my daughter to “groom” herself and YES as her mom – I was the one to teach her. You bring out all fine points, and I appreciate it. I just hate it to be hidden in comment #133!
    Thank you for adding your .02 – it was much appreciated. Hope it helps moms out there who are undecided and do not know what to do.

  135. Banana Says:

    omG i like cried wen i got to the end…. im a teen and i have the same problem…. i have fair skin and very dark brown hair…. talked to my mom said i should leave the upper lip… i wax my legs like twice a yr… i dnt care about wearing long pants… even tho kids at school ask y at gym… thing is im trying to figure out how i can hide the upper hair on my lip without shaving or anything… i heard the bleach thing makes the hair darker… that scared me ALOT… i jst am a teen who is trying to improve on her appearance… i wish women can b hairy too cuz then guys wouldn’t give a care about wut we look like… but one gender needs to clean themselves up…..

  136. Banana Says:

    o and i do ignore ppl who make fun of me… this is jst some personal thing for myself..(and guys…)… i couldnt care less wut ppl thought of me cuz the ppl who hang with me like me for ME not for anything else… which i am happy for…

  137. Banana Says:

    o and i read about the side effects of laser hair removal… u should get it done wen u r fully grown… teens can do it with parent permission.. but best wen u r done with hair popping out of no where… u have redness for a while.. there’s this new NEW technollogy similar to laser hair removal… and the side effects arent as bad jst redness… but u should ask a doctor about that or a professional… i jst looked it up.. but i am thinking about colsolting this with my doctor…

  138. Banana Says:

    o suzie im muslim too…. and my mom is like urs.. wow

  139. Banana Says:

    and i am being serious.. if my typing seems a bit too imformal…(or however u spell it)

  140. Banana Says:

    wut if u waxed like 3 times and no more… if u grew up as an adult would the hair disappear??????? how long do u have to wait till it disappears.. i am trying to find some natural way to remove or hide facial hair… i jst hate superficial things

  141. Banana Says:

    i kno i like posted 5 comments all in a row.. questions r like popping in my head and all… but how can u drink 8 glasses of water.. i tried that… i went to the bathroom TOO much… -.- sry im done

  142. TracyL. Says:

    I am having this problem right now…and my daughter will be turning 9. She is not asking to remove the hair on her lip because everyone else is…but because the kids (both boys and girls) are making fun of her. THis started in 3rd grade…!! I am shocked that kids can be soooo cruel at such an early age. I do not want my daughter to have to shave her legs and remove her facial hair at this point, but what are my options? Do I let others reduce my daughter’s self-esteem? It is so hard for girls in these days to have goo self-esteem as it is…To say that it is a cosmetic preference versus a necesscity is really the question. I do not beleive in shaping the eyebrows etc…. but when kids make fun of hairy lips, legs and unibrows…. then what? Maybe the problem is not really the facial hair but the home environment that these children are raised in? What do you think…

  143. Scorpia Says:

    I almost a twelve year old girl. I don’t know if I should shave my legs or wax my brow. I feel it might be a painful situation. I’m trying to decide. Should I….?
    Myth Scorpia

  144. deluxe Says:

    Yes, I have a freind that knows this other girl who shaves her legs and she is only in the 4th grade. That is what she said that the girl told her and i don’t think that she would fib about that.

  145. Scorpia Says:

    Well I’m still not sure. Please help. I have no clue!!

  146. Scorpia Says:

    Go away sis!! My sister…..

  147. deluxe Says:

    It’s strange that ppl now are starting to develope more quickley than they use to be.

  148. deluxe Says:

    No, I am not you sister.

  149. deluxe Says:

    she is my cousin that is visiting me this week.

  150. Curtesy Says:

    I think the idea of starting to shave at the age of 10 is a little silly. I agree that you should start when you feel it’s the right time for you. If people make fun of you that’s their problem.

  151. Nicole Says:

    i think it is a little silly for a 10 year old to be shaving.if you let your child shave at 10 she would think it was a toy and then she will tell her friends and then they will tell there parents that there friend is shaving their legs and by the time it reaches all of the parents they will not want to do it eny more.When i was 10 i didn’t care what my legs looked like. Did you?My sister is 10 and she wants to really wants to so bad.My mom and i told her wants she starts she will have to do it every day. and that scared her alot.My sister also hasen’t started her period yet.when she starts we will tal about shaving her of her friends that is going to be 10 in a week is already started shaving.I hope my sister does not turn out like a gothic freak. but even if she does i will still love her. Even though she sonetimes she is alittle bad and mean. she likes to be a freak.

  152. Nicole Says:

    i think it is a little silly for a 10 year old to be shaving.if you let your child shave at 10 she would think it was a toy and then she will tell her friends and then they will tell there parents that there friend is shaving their legs and by the time it reaches all of the parents they will not want to do it eny more.When i was 10 i didn’t care what my legs looked like. Did you?My sister is 10 and she wants to really wants to so bad.My mom and i told her wants she starts she will have to do it every day. and that scared her alot.My sister also hasen’t started her period yet.when she starts we will tal about shaving her of her friends that is going to be 10 in a week is already started shaving.I hope my sister does not turn out like a gothic freak. I will still love her.

  153. samantha Says:

    I am Samantha and i am 10 and my mum will not let me shave my legs.what should i do?i haven’t wore shorts since last year because when i went to school everybody said i needed to shave.i was so you think my mum will let me shave soon.

  154. francisco Says:

    I think you should wait until high school,im 15 and i was born with average lookin eyebrows(for an adult) wich later turned to a dark bushy uni brow @ the age of 3(yes 3,explanation-im mexican)i later grew bushier uneven shaped eyebrows(brow)and stole some tweezers and a razor,and i gues made it worse,i say youve got to be at least old enough to know wut your doing,cus right know i have the perfect shape eyebrows,after going through hell in middle school,and i know how it feels to get looked down on because my best friends even joked on me because of this,making my self estime suffer,ive got many other problems ive over come,but thick fast growing hair is moslty it,and i think no one should go through that at the age of ten,but i think no one should take it into serious matter at the age of ten.

  155. Edy Says:

    I do feel for little girls that may have excess body hair. I also appreciate raising children with the values you were raised on. I grew up with both of the fore mentioned. As a Mexican descent female I was blessed with the uni-brow, the mustache and the furry legs. (Until I was laughed at relentlessly and went home bawling and my mom finally allowed me to shave my pits.) Knowing first hand how children can harrass each other and knowing how you want to raise your daughter…is it possible to come to a middle ground? The uni-brow: do a little tweezing managment by creating two brows w/out touching the rest of the brow, when she is older then start to define them. The mustache: if it is too thick maybe ask an electrolysis or a doctor about removing the hair or bleaching the hair. Furry legs: if I had it my way at 10 I would have shaved, my intent back then would not of been in any way to be sexy but, not to be picked on. This may seem off the subject but bare with me. My husband played high school football so he would tape his ankles. He now has very little hair on them now. So whenever Iam blessed with a little girl she is getting her legs waxed! I wish I could have waxed early because, now when I shave my legs in the morning I know by the end of the day I got stubble. Pretty..NOT!! And one more thing, if she grows into being a furry person, please let her manage her bikini area. Just to the point where nothing slips out of her bikini and doesn’t notice it until after everyone else had the chance to know she is or isn’t a blonde. Or just have her wear a fur swim suit.

  156. Lucy Says:

    I think you should maybe wait until secondary school.
    I was like that i had mega hair legs and felt quite imbarressed but you should wait until you are old. x

  157. baby gurl Says:

    well my mom let me shave my legs and underarm when i was 11 now that im 12 i wax my upper lip but my mom still doesnt let me do my eyebrows yet. i think that an 10 yearold girl should be focusing on school and not on boys or appereance yet. if there are any mothers out there reading this right now ,,please take my advice and just wait for a little bit of puberty to kick in to your daughthers before allowing them to shave their legs, do their eyebrows, and wax their mustaches.

  158. Jessica! Says:

    i’m 13 and i had laser hair removal done on my upper lip, and sideburns
    i want to get my eyebrows done, and i asked my mom and she said it will hurt too much but if i can last laser hair removal, can’t i last waxing?
    what should I do?

  159. Jessica! Says:

    i started shaving my legs at 11 because everyone made fun of me so much.

    why do girls have so much hair? 😦

  160. Sandra Says:

    I just stumbled on this site and found this topic facinating. I may be older than most of you who have posted here but I can remember the day I read an article in a teen magazine about Connie Frances, the current teen idol then, (this goes way back folks!) plucking her thick eye brows at age sixteen. Being seventeen at the time, I decided then and there I was way over due. I never discussed this with my parents. I convinced my dad to drive me to the store for “something I really needed.” After buying a little hand mirror and a tweezers from the local “Five and Dime”, I proceeded to pluck away with a vengence in the back seat of the car! Of course, I knew nothing about how to do it and ended up with about three hairs left in each brow and an angry red forehead. I would never have guessed it then but my eyebrows never grew back. From that day on I had to draw them in with a pencil. Thanks to tatooing that’s now a thing of the past. Never the less, I wish I had known at seventeen what I was doing. It would have saved me years and years of frustration and embarrassment.

    Hope this helps a young girl considering doing a “do-it-yourself” job. Make sure you talk to someone like your mom or another adult about the right way to properly tweeze your brows before you attempt it okay?

    Sandy, browless for forty years.

  161. I agree with Baby Gurl! Says:

    I shave my legs and underarms now, I’ve also had my upper liphair and eyebrows done with a lazer thing. I’m 12 and I think it’s super silly for a ten year old to start shaveing or waxing. It would probly make her start acting older than she is and……well theres alot she doesn’t know about being older.

  162. Sally person Says:

    My friend pluks her eyebrows(of courde were not 10) and when I watch her do it I feel pain!

  163. Sally person Says:

    Oh and untill I could lazer my upper lip hair I cream bleached them…..that does hurt but not as much as….PLUCKING

  164. Jessica Vanna Says:

    Hi my name is jessica i am in the 6th grade and 11 yrs. old i have eyebrows growing on my eyelids a mustache that is truly noticable very hairy legs my parents say they are not going to do anything about it and i am mad at them because i am a horrible ugly beast who no one even notices!!!!!!!!!

  165. Jen Says:

    ok so i started plucking my eyebrows about a year ago without telling my mom.. they looked really nice 🙂 but then a few weeks ago my mom finally found out and go REALLLY mad about it. now she says i ahve to let them grow out for some reason. its like punishment or seomthing. but now that theyre growing back all the hairs are going everywhere and htey look so ugly 😥
    i really really REALLY want to get tem done at a salon but my mom keeeps yelling at me and saying NO. but i really need it 😦 she jsut doiesnt understand 😦

    please help.
    how can i get her to let me get them waxed?


  166. Ellen Says:

    My name is Ellen and I’m 14 years old. I’m having a problem with my upper lip, i’m growing hair there and a couple people have said stuff to me about it.. I’ve asked my mom about getting it waxed but she says I can but I’m not sure if it will look dark around the top of my lip or anything once I get it done, and if I do how often should I do it. Please someone reply this is really lowering my self-confidence and it makes me not even want to go out with my friends and have fun because I’m so worried about my appearance. So if there is anyone who waxes their upper lips please give me your advice!! 🙂

  167. *Emily* Says:

    im 12 and have a mostache im so embarrased everyone takes the mick out of me and it hurts 😦 i want it gone

  168. *Emily* Says:

    someone help me

  169. way2much Says:

    Ellen and Emily
    I feel for you guys – I really do.
    I know this post is a long one to read, but if you look up at some of the comments, they may help you.
    Once you wax, there will be no dark marks – I have never seen that – it may be red for a time immediately after, but it will go away. It takes about an hour for my irritation to subside.
    Emily, speak to an adult in your life and ask them for help. If you decide to do anything – I strongly suggest waxing, do not shave your lip – you will regret that. Most of all, be proud of who you are – and don’t let anyone dictate to you how to feel. Think of all the good qualities you posess and let that shine through. Looks are superficial, beauty is skin-deep.
    Good luck ladies.

  170. VT Says:

    I don’t think you can set a rule for when to begin waxing, shaving or any other matter, it depends on how prominent the hair growth is.

    I started puberty quite young, and although I have a very open relationship with my mother, I wasn’t comfortable talking about body hair. And so one day I took it upon myself to shave. I did my legs and my pubic hair because I was frightened of going swimming in class. I was only nine at the time.

    The first thing I did was cut the bottom of my leg leaving a rather nice Nike shaped tick, bleeding into the bath, but that was the least of my worries. I got out and stopped the bleeding it was only skin deep and didn’t hurt but it left a nice mark for a few days.

    I noticed the next evening that I was itching so much; in fact I was sore and developed a rash. All I did was put moisturising cream on and leave it, letting the hair grow back.

    I was so uncomfortable for those days and it taught me that I ought to just have left it, to be honest I think experimenting in that way is best, I know what is involved if I want to shave and although I do shave my legs, finding waxing a chore, I can’t say I have ever really been comfortable shaving any other area.

    With regards to plucking eyebrows and lip hair, I didn’t pluck mine until I was going on 12 and I had an awful monobrow. My mother did it for me and I squirmed and squeaked all the way. But the thing is, because I started quite late, compared to many, I found it had to make a habit, and only recently have I started doing it to any large degree but some of the hairs are so set in their roots, it is far more painful.

    Recently I noticed I was developing a little lip hair and I almost fainted, I’ve never seen any on me before. Instantly I grabbed the tweezers and held back from whimpering as I pulled out the few dark hairs. My mum looked at me in the mirror and asked what I was doing. When I told her she just smiled and nodded saying it must have come from my father’s side of the family. I stopped at that point and thought, why am I worrying, I only saw it when I looked in a magnifying mirror while doing my eyebrows.

    Although my mother encourages me to make the best of myself, to look nice, be tidy, clean and happy, she never told me to go and shave my legs, or pluck my brows, she just accepted when I did and helped me along the way. I never told her I had started shaving but one day she walked in with a packet of razors and smiled saying that it was so I didn’t need to sneak off with hers anymore.

    I think she did the best thing she could have done, and I’m glad she was so understanding, more even headed then my father who rants about teenage fashion and beauty, telling me off more then once for wearing all black, because I was supposedly trying to fit in. When I told him it was because I was more comfortable in that and I would rather wear clothes I liked, even if it was fashion, then wear clothes I hated because they were different, he was angry, ranting about how children are forced to grow up too quickly.

    I don’t like having to decide my whole future at 16, I don’t know what might happen but I don’t want to stay the child my father wants me to be. I’m not ready for the responsibility of growing up, getting a job and working in adult life, I like having a safe home, a routine, and I don’t want it to change but at least I know when it does I’ll have nice smooth legs and shaped eyebrows!

  171. swissreplica6 Says:

    hello, it’s good idea

  172. Jaimee Says:

    I am 13 years old and I started waxing when I was 11-12 years old. I started getting my mustache and eyebrows done. My mum let me because the hair was very dark and thick. I go back every 3-4 months to get it done. After that i started to shave my legs.
    I always thought it was okay for girls my age to get this stuff done because alot of my friends did, but after I read these comments I have to say I agree. Alot of young girls (like me) are spending way to much time making themselves look perfect! I think that we should just have fun being kids and then worry about all that other stuff when we are older!
    I’m not saying that everyone should wait, but I think that if you feel like you are ready and your parents think you are ready then you can get it done. But again sometimes if girls are really hairy, I feel that they should be aloud to get it done because what if they get teased at school and don’t have any friends. Sometimes parents always think you are too young for everything!

  173. way2much Says:

    Thanks for your message!
    It is so true that there is no right or wrong answer to this question. Before my daughter was “ready” I thought other girls her age were too young. Then I noticed how self-conscious she was and I “knew” the time was right for her. She is 11 – in two months she will be 12 but she has her period and she has hair everywhere. She is responsible enough at this point to remove the hair from her legs and underarms. She has bushy eyebrows, but we won’t even tackle that yet! She is beautiful – no matter what – but we all need to be comfortable in our own skin. BUT we also must not be too hard on ourselves either.
    You sound like a very wise person, Jaimee, I wish you all the best in life.

  174. Dermacia Says:

    This post, however off-topic it may be, is about Internet freedom. \”Network Neutrality\” — the First Amendment of the Internet — ensures that the public can view the smallest blog just as easily as the largest corporate Web site by preventing Internet companies like AT&T from rigging the playing field for only the highest-paying sites.

    But Internet providers like AT&T, Verizon and Comcast are spending millions of dollars lobbying Congress to gut Net Neutrality. If Congress doesn\’t take action now to implement meaningful Net Neutrality provisions, the future of the Internet is at risk.

    In the end game, only large companies will afford domains if the communications monopolies have their way with this. This of course isnt new news, but its coming to a head and blogs like this one will be a ghosttown unless all of us figure it our pretty darn quick. I wont post any links, but advise that if you value the internet, and blogs likw this one, that you search Google for \”Network Neutrality\” and educate yourself on this issue as it effects all of us.

  175. Concerned Sis Says:

    Hi, my name is Ina. I have a 10 year old sister,in grade 4 and i’m in grade 10. I remember when I came to Canada,in 2002, i was in grade 6. I had no problems with my hair since many others in my country had the same thing(Romania). But, as i got into Middle School, things started changing. I was called Shaving Cream, Mustollini, and the ones that hurt the most were Hairball and Hairy Beast. All these things were because of my back and my mustache and my arms as well. So i went home crying probably every day in grade 8 and only once did i tell my mother. She agreed to wax my mustache. Now i do it every week approximately. And it pains me that i have to do it. But i need to. If i don’t, i feel nasty and… ugly. My arms are still the same, and nobody says anything but i know some talk about it behind my back. My lower back has hair but i’ve left it alone. I date now, and it bothers me sometimes to wear something that doesn’t have sleeves and go out with my boyfriend. I always wonder if he looks at my arms. My back, i cover. But even though people don’t say anything(because they can’t see it), i feel like it shouldn’t be there.

    My sister is as i said, 10 years of age. She has already been called names at school and her mustache is visible. I talked to my mother about this, but my mother tends to be ignorant since she has not gone through the same thing. (My father is the one that has hair).He is also the person who makes me feel bad if i don’t shave my legs in the winter and he makes fun of me(immature at 40..).

    I promised my sister i would wax her mustache or pluck some off behind my mother’s back but not now. I told her i will do it when the time is right. And even i’m a bit confused because of time. i don’t want my sister crying. It hurts me. I raised her the most. Me and my grandmother. If i see her cry, i feel my heart break in millions of pieces since i know exactly what my sweetie is going through.

    I teach my sister lessons about life(as far as i know it) everyday. And i tell her that her true friend will look past that mustache and see the inner beauty(and oh how much my sister has). But now i’m beginning to think that it’s not about friendship. It’s about how you feel about yourself. If people will start calling her names i know for sure she will get lower grades(my sweetie is a straight A and B student ONLY). I know that happened to me. I also know that she will feel bad about herself. And that angers me. I want her to be proud of herself.

    If you would see my sister, you would see her mustache. It’s beginning to stand out a lot. I am afraid that if i wax her mustache my mother will notice, therefore getting myself in trouble. But, i think it’s worth it.
    i’m trying to make my mother understand but it’s hard. My mother isn’t the one to listen.

    I don’t know if i should wax or pluck a bit of my sister’s mustache off. She’s only ten. Yet, with respect to her age, that’s why i think i SHOULD do it, since her age should not consist of stress and demeaning name-calling.

    What should i do? ….

    Concerned Sis.

  176. *Rockstar* Says:

    I am a cosmetologist and feel taking care of yourself is just part of your everyday responsibility to look clean and polished. Hair care and skin care is very important and often overlooked, just look around next time you go somewhere, it’s absolutely disgusting how people just don’t have any respect for themselves. I really feel that as a mother you should start as early as possible to set proper grooming routines. If you wait too long because you are scared of your daughter looking too old you could permenantly scar her for life. Why do you think the teenagers now a days have gross skin and flakey crap in their hair?! If their parents would of taught them to cleanse, tone, and moisturize they would probably have less achne and blackheads. Also if moms would teach you to shampoo and condition properly depending on the texture and type of hair you would have healthier, shiney and less oilly hair. I think it’s rediculous that moms think 10 and 12 is too young to shave and wax ect. You really are ok with sending your child to school and letting them get teassed and redicouled. Kids are measn and hurtful and will use any fault you may have as a target, therefore emoitionally destroying your child which can lead to other serious problems. It’s funny because some moms I deal with in the salon think if they have a cut that fits their face shape rather than a straight bob with bangs that makes you look horrible or waxing gross hairs from your lip or chin, or just giving you clean, separate brows, will automatically make their daughter a slut and guarantee they will have sex . These people are crazy and must of been the ones that did that when they were that age. The point is not to look older and more seductive, it’s to look clean and groomed. Girls should not have hair on their lip, that is called a mustache!! You should have TWO eyebrows!! They should arch slightly and the strey hairs on your lid should be removed. My advice to you younger girls…..If you can go and get your brows waxed and shapped by a professional do it. Next time you are getting your hair cut ask your stylist, we’ll talk to your mom and explain why it needs to be done. Do NOT let someone , like a friend practice waxing on you!! Bad things can happen and probably will. There is facial Nair which can remove lip hair without the pain of waxing. If explaining your case doensn’t help about shaving your legs, just do it anyway, what’s done is done. You may get fussed at but they can’t glue the hair back on! I think if parents cared about their children they will help to instill impotant grooming methods. It will probably slow down the obesity rate in children because they will be more educated on the things they eat effect their skin and hair instead of aeating junk food and getting FAT in front of the TV. Remember it’s never too late to pick up a brush or wax strip and make yourself look more presentable. Take it from me, I have to look at you in my chair/shampoo bowl and am discusted to see hair on your facem, bad breath, flakes on your scalp, yellow teeth, and wondering if you really even own a mirror?? Oh yeah…. please teach your children the proper way to apply makeup. So many girls look like hookers or like they belong on top of a unicycle in a circus. Makeup should complment your skin tone and be applied differently depending on where you will be. Natural colors are so in right now. I hope you will learn from this and make the appropriate changes in your routines. Your body is the only one you get, so show respect and make it look like a temple. Start early so you don’t look 60 when you’re 30!!! Eat healthy don’t smoke, drink or do drugs, cause it all shows!!!!

  177. sara Says:

    Im eleven years old, almost 12. ive asked my mom if i can pluck my bushey unibrow a couple of times. ive even cried, usualy i can laugh it off or ignore it whene people make fun of iranian, so plucking youre eyebrows means youre no longer a virgin or youre married, and since im visiting iran this summer im totally not aloud to do anything about it. sometimes at night i cry myself to sleep, thinkg that if i dont sleep, the next day wont come, so kids wont tease me. i pray for the weekends to never end, not because i hate school, but because i cant hide it anymore. the tears that come with beeing teased. just today a boy who i was getting to know and i thought was nice made fun of the hair on my upper lip. he kept shouting” LOOK AT YOU’RE MUSTACHE”, i just ignored him, but i ran all the way home so i could cry. My bff (best friend forever) sydney is already plucking her eyebrows. my ther bff courtney is the defenition of beauty, tall skinny blonde and a gymnaist, compared to her everyone sees my as bigfoot. i dont have any nicknames like most people, but ive even faked sick so i can go home because my so called friends were calling me a gorilla because gorillas have unibrows, a girl even tried to tuch my brow. im a very nice and dunny person, people like me for me. but that just isnt enough. being liked for you is not a tissue for the tears. apart from my brow, i also have a hairy upper lip hair on fingers, toes, hands, feet (hardley), legs, face over all. its so emberassing, and next year im going to a junior high that noone else is going to. i want to ask my mom again if i can pluck my brow. i even make scripts and practise for weeks, cause i want it to be just perfect. but im really scared to ask my mom again, shes gonna bring my down. as i writte this letter i cry and groan, and i ask for youre help. i need courage to talk to my mom. i know for a fact that she wont let me wax ore anything. oh well, it was worth a try. thank you. *cry*

  178. Mimi Says:

    :(.When I was five I was looking in the mirror and I decided I had a mustache because when you’re young you do have a bit of hair on your upper lips but it grows away.Well I had seen my dad shaving so I thought well I won’t have a mustache so I shaved with my dad’s razor.Well now I have a mustache and everyone makes fun of me.I told my mom but she says it’ll grow away.I’m 10 going into 11 so why hasn’t it grown away yet?I don’t want to ask anyone about any hair removal products because I’m afraid they will laugh at me.What do I do?

  179. sara Says:

    # sara Says:
    February 13th, 2007 at 10:35 pm

    Im eleven years old, almost 12. ive asked my mom if i can pluck my bushey unibrow a couple of times. ive even cried, usualy i can laugh it off or ignore it whene people make fun of iranian, so plucking youre eyebrows means youre no longer a virgin or youre married, and since im visiting iran this summer im totally not aloud to do anything about it. sometimes at night i cry myself to sleep, thinkg that if i dont sleep, the next day wont come, so kids wont tease me. i pray for the weekends to never end, not because i hate school, but because i cant hide it anymore. the tears that come with beeing teased. just today a boy who i was getting to know and i thought was nice made fun of the hair on my upper lip. he kept shouting” LOOK AT YOU’RE MUSTACHE”, i just ignored him, but i ran all the way home so i could cry. My bff (best friend forever) sydney is already plucking her eyebrows. my ther bff courtney is the defenition of beauty, tall skinny blonde and a gymnaist, compared to her everyone sees my as bigfoot. i dont have any nicknames like most people, but ive even faked sick so i can go home because my so called friends were calling me a gorilla because gorillas have unibrows, a girl even tried to tuch my brow. im a very nice and dunny person, people like me for me. but that just isnt enough. being liked for you is not a tissue for the tears. apart from my brow, i also have a hairy upper lip hair on fingers, toes, hands, feet (hardley), legs, face over all. its so emberassing, and next year im going to a junior high that noone else is going to. i want to ask my mom again if i can pluck my brow. i even make scripts and practise for weeks, cause i want it to be just perfect. but im really scared to ask my mom again, shes gonna bring my down. as i writte this letter i cry and groan, and i ask for youre help. i need courage to talk to my mom. i know for a fact that she wont let me wax ore anything. oh well, it was worth a try. thank you. *cry*

  180. Becca Says:

    To mimi

    You should tell your mum how you feel there are bleaches that can turn the hairs blonde so they are unvisable and also you can get this thing were its a light but it gets rid of ure hairs forever also waxing if you wax your lip the hairs are only baby hairs so i think its 3 times and you kill the roots so they wont grow but i hope you read this good luck x becca

    To sara

    I am a 13 yr old girl and i know exactly what you are going through i went through the same situation i was quite hairy but i think that the best thing to do is tell your mum that you think its time that you started to pluck your eyebrows because they are unwanted hair. you should be able to talk to her and tell her how you feel and tell her about the people saying things about you. When i started puberty thats when i started to care about what people think if someone says something to you the best thing is to ignore them and just re-asure them that you don’t care and they are wasting there breath for my upper lip i used bleach and it makes the hairs blonde so they are not visable .I bet you are a very beautiful girl but you don’t Know that your mum wont let you wax if you don’t try it,I cried my eyes out when the hairs started to grow but you have to be more confident with yourself you need to tell your self that beauty comes from the heart its not the outside that counts its the inside and if they are your true friends they wouldnt say or do anything that would hurt you. hope you read this good luck becca x

  181. Marsha Says:

    I’m going through this now with my twin daughters who will be 12 in July and will be starting middle school in September. I remember my dad wouldn’t let me shave until I was in the 9th grade (high school!) and I was SO embarrassed! I cringed when it was time to dress for P.E. I wouldn’t do that to my girls. They’re very blonde with blue eyes and blonde eyelashes, but the next time they ask, I might tell them they can shave before 7th grade starts. They had to start wearing deodorant about 9 months ago.

  182. *Louise* Says:

    Ive just turned 13 and have a visable mostache! people have said stuff to me about it and its horrible! i want to remove it but i donnt know which way is best! i wont shave because it grows back quicker and darker and i dont want that! i think i might go intot town and but a waxing set!

  183. confused? Says:

    im 12.
    && i was reading the comments && non of them
    had what i was looking for…u c. i sweat A L O T under my arms
    && its embarresing kuz i alays wear tank-tops && if i wear
    regular t-shirts i wear jacket no matter what the degrees are..
    ive tried a couple deodorant’s for it but they dont work…
    what should i do??
    && another thing…wen i wear a bathing-suite im embarrest sometimes already starting to develope hair around THE area..&& again HALP!!!! i have know idea what to do… :[[
    && are these things normal for a 12 year old girl?


  184. Holly Says:

    i’m 12
    i’m starting to shave only my legs
    i barely even know the right way
    i don’t know how to tell my mom i want to wear deodarent
    please help!!!

  185. Amy Says:

    im 11 and ive got realy dark visible hairs on my legs AND arms. its really embarassing even to get changed in front of the girls at school. i dont get picked on but i no that they think it looks funny.

  186. seda Says:

    im 12 nearly 13 years old and my mum dosent let me do my legs but i shaved them without telling her and i dont know what to do now

  187. sarah Says:

    im 13 and have a visable mostache and really bushy eyebrows! there takin over my face ive tried waxing strips for my uper lip but theye didnt worjrk so i think i might get it over with and go to the salon and get my eyebrows and my mostache waxed and then i can go back every month or so and then eventually my mostache will be gone and my eyebrows will be beautifuly shaped and thin x

  188. malibu Says:

    hi im laurine and i had sex with many people at the age of 15. im 20 years old now but i cant have babies because i had sex with too many people. this is something very sad because everyone would want to have a baby RIGHT!!!!!
    i have understood my mistakes and i dont want anyone else to go thruogh these things because if you do trust me that you would be crushed inside to have sex with a random guy than with the guy you love and have the children of your dreams 😦
    now the only way for me to have kids is to addopt

  189. anonymous Says:

    I came across this website just from Googling. Girls don’t have much of a problem as boys do. Being a boy I naturally have facial hair, and shaving was probably one of the worst things I could do. I developed razor rashes and bumps all over my face. Leg hair isn’t much of a problem since you can wear trousers – you can’t go wearing a mask to school! I went to a private school were the rules were STRICTLY clean shaven for boys, even a slight shadow meant you had to go home.

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