A Tangle in the Vine

I was anxiously awaiting Labor Day.

We all were.

We even discussed it at the wedding!

But we hit into a snag.

Big Ant #1 will take off on Friday and run around NJ looking at different wholesale markets.

Can we find someone to supply us with 30 bushels of tomatoes?

The lady we normally get our tomatoes from for the past 8 years informed us on Wednesday that due to the weather she will be unable to accommodate our request!

FRI

71°F 21°C
62°F 16°C

SAT

70°F 21°C
67°F 19°C

SUN

75°F 23°C
66°F 18°C

This is the weather forecast for the weekend! Nice huh! But we are prepared – we have tents and we always make due no matter what.

But the weather was horrendous the past few days. That is what did the crop in. So now we sit in limbo wondering what to do.  OK Ant – we are counting on you! – no pressure! 🙂

I Seem to Be Getting A Lot of Traffic On My Other Blog

I am enraged.

Should I be?

Or am I losing my sense of humor?

Apparently on another blog someone commented by posting a picture of a Dorito bag (an unusual bag – as it appears to have Oriental writing and depicts two men fighting with one man’s foot on the other’s you know what). Once you click on the picture it directs you to this post on my other blog.

The referring post has something to do with Saddam Hussein and South Park. Other bloggers (commenters) had no idea what the connection was – they started guessing thinking it was something to do with sanctions or with me beating my children.  But he goes on to explain “Saddam -> Doritos -> Beatings -> Fat Chicks.” (NOTE: I will not give this person the satisfaction of linking to his comment)

Does he have the right to place a picture that actually links to my site? I don’t know what to make of this, but it annoys me.

But why?

Is it because he thinks I am a fat chick? Or is it that he linked deceitfully to me – I don’t mind the link but to link through a picture? I think I am upset because it is a little bit of both. I am trying to be mature about this and be a good sport – but is this good blog etiquette? 

I am resigned to the fact that this person is an ignorant fool, and I shouldn’t be upset about it, but I can’t help but feel a bit annoyed.

Whatever, this particular post has directed over 170 views of my post in less than 12 hours. I am not sure about the mentality of those that read the other blog, but perhaps they may appreciate what they view on my site. That may not be such a bad thing – or is it??

I am Addicted to Advice Columns!

I read the paper every day.

Cover to Cover.

I even read Sunday’s Money and Careers Section as well as Cars! and Lifestyle. I may not know what I am digesting but I read it anyway.

I like to read the “how we met” stories especially in the Life section of Newsday. I enjoy solving the Sudoko puzzles as well – although I skip Monday and Tuesdays! They only rate * and ** respectively. I like Wednesday – Friday ***-*****; which get gradually harder to solve. I have serious problems with the six stars in a circle puzzle on Saturdays! At some point you have to start guessing, and I am not fond of that. (NOTE: I encourage my daughter to solve the Monday and Tuesday puzzles – good for the brain!)

I like to read the opinion letters in the editorial section. Although I must admit it is torture, as I disagree with most of what these morons have to say. But that is just my opinion.

What is particularly entertaining to me is the Advice Columns. I am amazed at what some people consider problems and am equally amazed that they have the gumption to write in! I find myself wondering if this is a form of a joke or are they this “troubled”. I know I should be giving examples of this – as any good writer would, but I just draw a blank at this time.

I was reading the paper today and I saw an interesting letter that I thought I might throw out there to anyone who happens to be reading my blog. So here it goes:

A mother (I believe) wrote in to say that her child was invited to the movies with a friend, so she gave him/her $10 just in case. Well it turns out that her child needed to pay for her ticket and any snacks she may have wanted. She continues to say that her son invites a friend out to dinner as a guest.  She pays for his tab (naturally). But the following day the boy comes over to pay back the money. The mother is upset and insists on not accepting that form of payback. She wants to know what is the protocol when inviting their children’s friends somewhere.

The advice columnist’s answer was a personal one – she said what she does.  If it is the movies, she pays the way. If the child has money (just in case) and insists on paying for snacks with their own money, she allows them to – otherwise she is prepared to treat!  She suggests that the mother of the boy had good intentions by wanting to pay back the parents but it was in a rude manner.  She should repay by reciprocation – as in treat her son to a dinner next time.

I agree – but does everyone else say?

My daughter was invited to go bowling, to the movies, etc. with others. First, I am not too keen on letting my daughter go anywhere with people I don’t especially know. I gave my daughter $20 when she went bowling – she came back with very minimal left-over. She bought snacks and tokens (to play games). It was expensive! The parents were bowling and let the two 11 year olds roam around in the other areas. I said that would be fine as long as they check in regularly with her parents and that they do not leave each other’s side. But that was when I dropped her off – had I known this beforehand I may have nicely rejected the offer.  But I could have had taken her home, but I allowed it as I think my daughter and this girl are responsible, however, I was uneasy with “others” around – as in I don’t trust anybody.

If I invite someone for company to the movies, I invite the family in this manner, “We are going to see the 8 PM showing of “—” would you guys like to meet us there. I knew you said you were anxious to see it and I was wondering if you were available this evening.” I think in that way, you are saying we pay our own way – they can decline or accept. Unless of course I state “my treat” but with movie tickets costing what they do – I would be nuts!  Now if I was the one who took the kids to the concession stand – I would reach in my pocket and pay for them.  And she can get next time!  But if I called and said, “Hi we are going to see the 8 PM showing of “—–” and Ericka would like to know if Bri can come along with us.” Even if she brought her own money to pay for her admission – I would say no. I have it. End. of. story. I invited – I am driving – I am paying. Ditto for mini-golf or any other form of entertainment.

Now I’d like to hear your opinion – should kids pay their own way?

Inquiring minds want to know. And if you find yourself in a situation with assuming the person is paying for your child and your child has no money – how would you feel about that and what would you do?

And for the very first time ever I’d like to introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. —-!

OK – so I think the priest does that officially at the Church but the DJ says that as well after they introduce the wedding party and what a wedding party it was!

Not all members were at the reception (as they were young children), and I cannot name all or even tell you how many, but I can say one came all the way from Hawaii to stand up for the bride! Emma and Veronica looked beautiful – the color of the dress complimented them! I believe we can consider the color to be cantaloupe? pinkish something or other!

The bride-groom (sounds like he doesn’t know which to be!) had his two brothers stand up for him as best men. That was nice!

My parents were asked to bring up the gifts, but my mom got one extra special job!

But first, after the cocktail hour or so was up, the lights flickered to inform us to proceed to the next room. I grabbed that green martini that Kat gave up and headed to the main room.  I knew I was at Table #6 – hey Mike got the table named after him!  Us cousins were all together, except for the siblings of the groom.

WOW.

The room was beautiful, but I have one complaint – well two.  The dance floor was too small – who knew all those people would dance! And it was HOT! Perhaps others weren’t so hot, but I was drinking and dancing!

Our table was right by the dance floor! We all got situated. I got to sit next to my husband naturally(!) and Kat! 😛 – Lucky Kat!

The DJ  begins to make the introductions. HAH – Janine (my sister-in-law) and I are in the ladies room. How are we going to sneak in now? But we manage.  They already introduced my aunt and uncle and may I say my aunt looked absolutely stunning! They introduced the bride’s parents as well and were on to the wedding party. After all the introductions, they paused and directed our attention to the big screens on the wall as they started to play a slideshow of pictures of Jenn and Rob through the years.

Jenn, in my opinion changed a lot! So did Rob, he went from a slight little boy into a nice broad guy! Jenn, was adorable as a little girl, and is stunning as an adult. They look great then and now, but different! OK so back to the slideshow… My family can ooh and aahh over pictures of Jenn but they did not bring back memories as we have no idea what went on in her life other than the past 8 years. But when the pictures of Rob started – it all came back to us. We all laughed out loud and really appreciated the trip down memory lane.

Who remembers “Schtop begging Antonny!”

Then there was a picture of Kat and Rob – they were like twins, same age and they were inseparable getting into all sorts of trouble.  I saw Kat’s hair in pigtails and the memory of her not ever allowing me to play beautician came flooding back to me! And the clincher picture was of Rob as a teen, sleeping on the couch. It seems Rob is always sleeping on a couch at some point of every gathering!

After the show, they called up Aunt Joyce to say the blessings. I think they all think my mom is some sort of holy roller! Ok, she is nervous in front of crowds, she doesn’t know how to work it like Ant, my dad or even hey I will add myself into this mix! So she starts off low, we all tell her we can’t hear you – my heart breaks for her, because I know her heart is beating a million beats a minute. She finishes grace. And then they call the two best men up for their toast.

OMG!

They have top hats – white – and cigars! They are doing a skit.  I have no idea what they say! But it is hilarious. I never realized it took Emma and Gene 13 years to tie the knot. I knew it was long, but geez! I also had no idea it took Tom and Ver 10! So Rob and Jenn did OK with only 8. Ant joked that dial a bride promised delivery within the half hour – so he has them all beat!

I am trying hard to remember the last line because it was touching. It was something about eating, drinking and ahhhh I need help here. It was beautiful, so for all the laughs, it was also very moving as well. I love those guys!

The waitresses and waiters are coming over to take our orders – guess who our waitress is?! Yes – the cherry bimbo floozie. I drank so much, I really didn’t care until my husband was missing for quite some time! Thanks Mike (#6) for pointing that out to me!

Anyway, the entrees were prime rib (not filet mignon as I told the waitress I ordered!), some kind of chicken and salmon. Both hubby and I take the prime rib – he said if he knew I was getting that he would have ordered the salmon – a la taste each other’s meal type thing.  I offer to switch, but told him I thought he would have ordered the salmon anyway, and he says Nahh!

Kat and I admire how long the cucumber is that is wrapped around some greenery and other salad type incredients. I say something completely inappropriate and see my brother and sister’s faces and I realize “oh did I say that out loud!” Mike cracks up laughing and Erick just rolls his eyes! That’s me!

Kat is the first to realize (I think) that everyone can see her cleavage! She directs our attention to the ceiling. There is an enormous chandelier (don’t want to be responsible cleaning that bad boy) which is surrounded by a circular mirror – yes mirror.  I am wearing a high dress, so no cleavage is showing from me, but may I say there were plenty of cleavage to be seen – that is if you want to keep your head crocked up toward the ceiling the whole night! We have a nice laugh about that.

Immediately the DJ plays “We are family” to which Kat explains “it’s too soon!” I agree as I slurp down another martini! Kat is glad she had penne ala vodka during cocktail hour as there is no macaroni course, we had the salad and some sherbet with mint to cleanse our palates – it was good. Then our main course was served. Aunt Lena came by and gave most of us compliments for finishing our food and especially if we had our veggies! 🙂

Then we all danced – and danced. Can you believe I didn’t do the Electric Slide or the Cha-Cha slide. At least they didn’t play the Macarena! But I got up and danced a whole bunch.  Erick didn’t want to dance. I guess he figured one of us making a fool of ourselves was enough.  They only played 4 or 5 slow songs. I was in the ladies room for the men’s choice – so who is to say if he would have asked. But I asked him for the ladies’ choice and he just made a face, but he got up! And I didn’t step on his toes this time!   oops no I didn’t – I asked my dad for that dance! And he said YES! I didn’t step on his feet either.  I danced 2 slow songs with Erick – but it wasn’t the ladies’ choice – I’m a dummy!

We played a game where we had to pass the napkin around to everyone at the table until the music stopped. My brother got stuck with it! So did Aunt Lena (anyone say fixed?). My bro wasn’t too happy but Aunt Lena coaxed him into going on the dance floor anyway. They were table captains and their job was to get everyone on the dance floor for the Conga Line! Naturally, we all had to be obstinate and refuse! He was a good sport, but I got on line anyway!

Then it got ugly.

They played the Tarantella.  What a disaster. The DJ did not coach anyone. And we clearly had non-Italian attendees at this wedding.  I decided to spin my mother around anyway. Then we tried to force the crowd to do it correctly. By the time it got going, the song was over. AND THEY DIDN’T PLAY IT AGAIN! Oh and Ant #1 stepped on someone’s bracelet and brought it to someone else, but it ended up being Aunt Lena’s – she realized she was missing it about an hour later!  Then they played some other songs, but everyone started to sit down. So they decided to put on some 80’s hits! I danced in my seat.

Where did Tracy go?

I don’t think she was at the table much?

Then they introduced the fire show! OOH AAH.

Where is Erick?

Mike says: Where’s the waitress? (evil man)

I say that is it and storm out of the hall – to look for him! (NOTE: I did not think he was with the waitress, I knew he was with my brother-in-law – good God I don’t want to think what they could have been doing! – seriously I thought he would be interested in this presentation.) I could not find him. I go back in the room.  They have a fondue fountain! Goodness gracious!

The two missing men come back – Erick chows down on the 2 chocolate covered strawberries I got for him – as the crowd was out of control over these dessert tables! The desserts were amazing but I was just too stuffed from the cocktail hour and my prime rib! But it seemed as soon as they brought the dessert out, the tables were carted out just as quickly!

At one point Ant #1 takes hold of the mike and sings a song to Rob and Jenn. He sings along with Frank Sinatra – I love ya Ant, but don’t quit your day job. JK – But boy did he hit it with the second song. It was great – not sure the name of it, but he was strumming something and making gestures and Rob’s face was hysterical.  He certainly was enjoying the show, and so did everyone else! It was the best Ant has been. ENCORE! ENCORE!

The person’s birthday closest to the date gets to go home with the centerpiece. That would have been Ant – no one else wants to take it home. So I do! It looks nice in my living room! Thanks guys! 😛

The evening was very enjoyable! I must say that is the first time I truly enjoyed a wedding in a very long time. The martinis may have helped but the company was just outstanding!

Laughs that need to be explained –

  • hugging the tiled walls in the bathroom
  • if…..I’d be a happy woman!
  • Elaine…have you worked on a float before?
  • I will pay you $$ to drive me back to the hotel – please let us in your car!
  • If I was 20 years younger I would carry you – Paul, if I was 20 pounds lighter you may have been able to!
  • A shrimp falling into my plate! Nice shot!
  • Here taste! OOH that’s good!
  • anybody have a pen – no a black pen! Hey thanks Alex!
  • what’s with the full length mirrors everywhere?!
  • take some Mexicans in your luggage on the way there – ok not politically correct but still funny!
  • you’re going with them on the honeymoon? “don’t go knocking on their door!”
  • What was going on with that picture at the end of the evening? Gene looked ferocious! It definitely looked like something from the Sopranos!

What a night – now look at the comments – and there better be comments! for additional information I missed. Also Kat, Alex and Mike need to fill us in on the after-party activities – like when did that shuttle come pick you guys up! Also, if Ant can tell us the last line of his speech we would all appreciate it!

Salute!

The Wedding Singer!

It was cousin Ant – aka #1

Stay tuned for more info – but right now enjoy reading about the cocktail hour!

Congratulations Rob and Jenn – The Cocktail Hour!

On August 26 my cousin married his girlfriend of 8 years!  Welcome to this crazy family Jenn!

After my meltdown over what to wear, a new problem arose.  How to be in 4 places at one time?  Unfortunately to help out with the situation, I had to forfeit seeing the actual ceremony – so I will leave it up to my other cousin’s comments to fill in on that aspect of the wedding.  I heard little Nicholas was adorable! I hope I get to see the video!

My son had to be at a mandatory fund raiser for football; my daughter was invited to her best friend’s party.  Everything was OK – my father-in-law was going to watch my kids and be there when Dan was dropped off at 2 and then he was going to pick my daughter up at 4.  My husband and I had to leave by 1 to get to the Church by 3. If we left any later we would be taking our chances.  My car windshield had a chip in it and we needed to fix it before any long trips.  We had an appointment that morning.  Everything was going fine until things started to unravel. Not entirely sure what happened but needless to say we couldn’t leave at 1 so we just hung out until 4.  No sense going at 2 and missing the ceremony and hanging around until the reception.

Surprisingly the GWB was clear and we got to the reception at 5:20.  One hour ahead of time, but they let us in anyway.  Can you believe there were others there!

I started the evening with a White Russian (Kahlua, vodka and milk) I love Kahlua! Erick and I were chatting; we snagged the table right next to one of the bars. This was the first time we got a table at a cocktail hour.  All you know how difficult it is to hold a plate, and a drink and try to figure out how you are going to eat the food. It is damn near impossible, so for us to find a table and near the bar, it was a dream come true! 

There were two young waitresses working. One was a bit upset that people were there early.  She stopped at the bar and seductively ate a cherry – you know the way, lifting her head up and raising her hand with the cherry dangling and lowering it to her lips. Yeah – bimbo! She wasn’t doing it for the sake of the bartender – he was old enough to be her grandfather and not that good-looking I might add. And do not tell me that is how she eats cherries at home!  My husband noticed.  She scored one!  Floozie. 

The ladies – uhm I mean waitresses then went to where all our name cards were and started to fill up glasses with drinks. I was not sure what they were making, but I was content with my drink.  My memory is fuzzy here, cause I am not sure if I was on my first or second drink at that time.  But look, here comes my brother and sister and their spouses.  We wave to them and they bring in these martinis. They are so bright and colorful! I am told the blue tastes like jello and the green is better.  I taste both. 

Oh look here comes Kat and Alex!  Aunt L and Uncle J is behind and so is mom and dad.  We all cram by the two tables we snagged!  Food is finally being brought out – well I say finally, but it is on time!  I am starving, so I jump right in there.  Only hot food? I was in such a mood for cheese and veggies. 😦

I had some lobster ravioli, penne ala vodka, tortellini alfredo, fried calamari, sausage and broccoli rabe, chicken and mushrooms, geesh and other stuff, I can’t remember!  I decided to fill myself at the cocktail hour because seriously that is the best food.  The dinners are hit or miss!

Now I do not remember how many colorful drinks I had! Not more than 3.  Kat left her green one at our table while she was sucking down some raw clams oysters! She was drinking another green drink.  “Hey, you snooze you lose, that drink is now mine” I tell her.  I drink it! I was then introduced to White Chocolate Martinis.  Oh my goodness, these things are awesome!  I think I may have had 2 or 3.  Yes, you are reading this correctly, I am now on my #6 or #8 drink – I lost count! In one hour! I am giddy!

I go up for seconds because I think I need some absortion in my stomach for all this alcohol and I am just hungry and acting like a glutton!  I hear there is another room open.  WHAT?  I fill up one plate and head to the next room! 😛

Here we are!

Cheese heaven!  My brother encourages me to try a California Roll. I never had sushi, so I go ahead.  I should have tried the spicy tuna, but I didn’t. There were shrimp, lobster, veggies, more raw fish, cheese and other goodies!  I grab some shrimp, lobster, carrots and a slice of blueberry cheese – at least that is what I think it is! I grab some strawberries too.

Conversation is good.  Food is delicious and the drinks are flowing! Erick is just having ginger ale and is taking it easy.  His stomach wasn’t feeling that great. I was feeling fine!

And then the lights flickered…

I am not fashionable!

I wear what I deem comfortable.

I wear what fits!

I make do with what is in my closet.

But then I have to get ready for a wedding!

A family wedding.

Long?

Short?

Tea-length?

Black?

Blue?

Something else?

How much do I put in the card?

What does that have to do with what to wear? It has nothing to do with it, but it adds to the stress!

So I refuse to buy anything new. I am trying to lose weight, why would I buy something that I would only wear once – hopefully.  Hmm.  I should have gone shopping, because here it is one night before the wedding and I am second-guessing my decision.  I always do this!

I have two dresses.  A full length gown that touches the floor when I walk.  It has crinoline under it making the dress come out like Belle’s in Beauty and the Beast. It is my favorite color lavender. It is halter top with sequence on it.  My boobs look tremendous in them. I don’t need a bra and I have shoes that work well with it.  The problem is my husband says I look like a bridesmaid wannabe.  He says that with this dress I look like I am in the wedding party and with my other dress I look like I am a guest.  I decide on dress #2 because you want your husband’s support.

Bull shit.

Dress #2 is sleeveless.  It is form-fitting and is navy blue with sparkles (that get everywhere).  I had no shoes to match nor did I have a purse to carry.  It is short. On one side it is knee length and the other side it gradually gets longer to calf length.  It is not handkerchief bottom, not really.  The dress is high to the neck.  I was happy with my decision until tonight.  I went shopping this afternoon and got silver sandals and a silver handbag.  I bought a nice bracelet and earrings to match (silver and diamond-ish [as in not real])

So tonight I tell my mom I decided on the short dress and she says “oh” like as in why the hell did you decide that?  Hence the second-guessing myself.

I realize my husband probably doesn’t want everyone focusing their attention on a certain area of my body that this gown accentuates.  That’s all I have. That’s the only reason why I think he told me to go with #2 unless his reason is legit!

I am not comfortable with my weight, but I think I have nice legs. If I wore the lavender gown, it hides my best asset, but brings out (literally) my second best!  I just hope I put this blue dress on and I am pleased with how I look.  The more I think of it, the more I realize there will never be another time I can wear the lavender gown. I had purchased it last year thinking I would wear it for this occasion along with the one I purchased it for – justifying my purchase at the time.  But I forgot this until now!

I was too concerned that I looked too bridesmaidish that I didn’t bother taking it to the cleaners or anything. I could have asked them to cut out the crinoline, and see how it looked but it is too late now.  Why did I listen to my husband?

And why can’t I make a fashion decision on my own!  AGGHHH