Help Me, Kat!

What a day Friday was.

So much conflict!

So much drama – OK not on Friday but in this post!

Let me start off from the beginning – a good place to start!

I have been trying to get together with my sister, mother and rest of my family all week. They were supposed to come over on Thursday to go to a Butterfly museum and spend the day.  Of course, glitches pop up! On Tuesday, my 6 year old niece calls me and wonders if Wednesday would be better. I tell them no – because follow me here – my daughter has a game scheduled for 5, my son has practice from 3:30 – 8 and I had a meeting at 7.  Since they live 70 miles away, it would make no sense for them to make the trip for a few hours.  Thursday was no good for my sister since her son’s baseball team was scheduled for an 8 PM game that evening. If they spent the day here, he would be too exhausted to play his game in the evening – besides traffic would be murder at that time.

Wednesday would have been good – Dan’s lacrosse practice was xld for 3:30 but he still had football practice 6-8. My daughter’s game was xld due to the extreme heat. My meeting was canceled due to unexplained circumstances.

Thursday they could have come over! My nephew’s game was never scheduled for Thursday – an error on my sister’s part – it is for Friday at 6! My daughter had a game make-up at 5 on Thursday – which actually turned out to be 6 but that is a whole other story not worth getting into!

But onto Friday – my dilemma was my daughter had a game rescheduled for Friday at 6! I already told my family I would go to them! My parents, and brother’s family were going to Florida on Saturday.  They can’t come to me, because of my nephew’s game and it is the last day to get last minute things together (I completely understand and agree).  But what about my daughter’s game – do I come home early? After seeing the fiasco from Thursday’s game and since I already told the coach that if it was scheduled on Friday, my daughter won’t make it, I was not upset to fore-go the game. Neither was my daughter.

So I drive to Staten Island! I go straight to visit my aunt in the nursing home.  I scream and yell – because once I am behind the wheel a whole other me takes over.  I hate that I cannot find a parking spot. I finally find one around the corner and have to walk to the home. (I could use exercise, so that is not problem – finding a spot less than a mile away seemed to be one!)

My aunt thinks my son is going off to college – I roll my eyes – but hell she is 96 years old and my son is very tall, so let her think that. But we correct her. My mother shows up a short time later with my twin niece and nephew.  We stay a bit and leave. My daughter goes with my mom and the kids. My son stays with me. Forgetting the roads around there – (defend myself: I got my license at 17 – went to college at 18 – came home for summer and holidays, but after college move to Long Island) and they get upset with me if I forget what road leads where! I didn’t do much “cruising around” to learn them in the first place.  OK – enough – I find my parent’s house!

My dad is there. We greet. My mom finally arrives with Doughnuts – I sigh because I am trying to lose weight but the temptations that are put in front of me every time I visit is unbelievable!  I have no idea what we do for the next few hours. Oh wait, we eat lunch and my sister-in-law comes by with her two girls.  My sister gets back from her mattress delivery – she is excited that things are moving along nicely at her house.

At 6 we go to my nephew’s game.  MY MOTHER GETS LOST! Hello? And you bitch to me? She is looking for a crossroad – so I presume.  I inform her that the two roads run parallel to each other and not perpendicular.  She screams she knows.  So how can the park be on those two blocks – as she also knows it isn’t between them either! Ok after driving in circles we find the park.  (Note: there is no bleacher space to sit – so we stand).

My nephew didn’t do too bad – he hit the ball and he tried to field, but it is a bunch of 6 year old boys. It was cute – from what I could see, as the standing room only was bunched together as well!

I see two girls I recognize from grade school – some 20 odd years ago.  I am 50 pounds heavier, didn’t have my pedicure done yet and they were pretty snooty from what I remembered, so I am thinking “GrEAT!”  My sister is pretty friendly with them as their sons are on same team.  I see another woman I recognize – as she hadn’t changed a bit. I ask my sister who she is and she snaps, “I don’t know”.  Hmm can you find out from Christine?  NO

So after the game, I go up to Christine and ask who the girl was.  She says her name Donna so and so. I don’t recognize the name but she said she did go to same grammar school and high school as I (2 years behind me). Christine went on to the public high school.  I tell her I am bad with names but good with faces. She tells me she is bad with everything! She is 2 years younger than I and her sister is a year older than I. She said her sister and she were trying to figure out who I was since I did look familiar – I thought the fact that I was standing near my sister and talking to her children, they would assume who I was – apparently not!

Fast forward to leaving!  My mother had parked in a no parking spot – I informed her and she couldn’t care less.  But anyway she backs out of the spot and proceeds down the road a bit, but there are cars parked on both sides so it makes it hard for us to go anywhere. I see Gina (Christine’s sister) driving and she motions something. I think she is waving after realizing finally who I am. I smile and wave back!


My mother is driving down a one-way street! I realize she was not waving, she was warning – and probably thinking “dumb-a$$”!

I inform my mother and she laughs! LAUGHS! She pulls back in her spot and reverses the direction to now go the legal way! She then does something else I can’t quite recall but it prompts me to recite the “Our Father”. She slaps me on the arm and tells me to knock it off! (I was serious!)

She then starts harping on the fact that my uncle is dating again and my son agrees that he thinks it is too soon after my aunt’s death too – (18 months).  I shake my head and say that I think he needs companionship and I don’t think it is meant as any disrespect towards his wife or her family (my mom).  I also mention that I respect the fact that he called my mom and informed her personally instead of having her find out from a stranger or accidentally meeting up with them.

We continue discussing while having near misses as my mother is a horrible driver. (my opinion)

We pass my cousin’s house! Hey look Uncle Joe is out – my mother decides to beep like a mad-woman. I am ready to jump out the door – to save my life and my sanity!  Kat is opening her front door – I push my face to the window and mouth:

“Help me, help me”!

Not sure if she recognized what I was saying or if she just thought I was being goofy for she smiled in a laughing way and waved.  

We made it safely to my mom’s house!

We had pizza.

And I drove home around 11 PM.

It was a long day! 


4 Responses to “Help Me, Kat!”

  1. ~Kat #8 Says:

    You know, I wanted to comment about that. I was going to say something like ‘I was outside my house when a crazy woman drove by with what appeared to be a hostage in the front seat!’ I did notice the call for help and almost dialed 911. It was a funny sight! LOL 🙂
    Next time you get in the car with your mother, let me know so I can say some prayers for you. Maybe even a Novena. You are a brave one!

  2. Bailey Says:

    Elaine, A while back you wrote about your daughter’s friends waxing, Well i really would like to get in touch with you, by email because I had been searching online for a mom concerned with their daughter and her peers waxing, and tweezing, and found you, Like your daughter I am also 11, and was on the today show live on July 4 about new candy trends for the summer and new year. This sounds so confusing I am sure, but the main thing is that I was wondering if there is a possibility you could email me more details, about you concern ect., i am looking into making a piece on the today show about young girls starting to wax and the producer who i am working with who is a family friend would be glad to talk to you as well. It would be great if you could email me at . I hope that I dont sound crazy, and like I am making this all up,
    but email if your interested,

  3. Anthony Says:

    Umm — who the heck is Bailey and if she is only 11, I do not think she should be contacted. Do you really think Joyce is that bad a driver? I hope not she drives my kids around. I think it is only when she gets upset or feels passionate about something her mind wanders. She has ADD- that’s all. LOL

  4. Elaine Says:

    I was always nervous in the car with mom! She isn’t bad but she does get distracted!

    As far as Bailey – who knows, s/he doesn’t sound like an 11 year old, does she. I know all too well not to contact this person. If the Today show was seriously interested, they will find a way to contact me. And btw – I am not in the least bit interested.

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